So what can you do if you're stuck behind any of these yahoos? Hope it ends quickly, or better yet, try one of the following for a speedier security experience:
My TSA app: Download this free app for your phone and see security line 'wait times' before you head to the airport. It also provides information on whether specific items can or can't go through security, though when I tested it on 'peanut butter' it simply informed me that no gels or liquids above 3.4 ounces are allowed (yes, I know peanut butter isn't a liquid, but 'gel' may be open to interpretation).
PreCheck expedited security lanes: The experimental program at a handful airports around the U.S. is proving to be wildly popular and the TSA recently expanded it, adding PreCheck lanes at Los Angeles, Minneapolis and Salt Lake.
It's not for everyone, though. It is currently open to U.S. citizens who are miles program members of participating airlines, plus you have to be 'invited' to sign on. Then you must agree to a background check but if all goes well, you get to use the quicker PreCheck lanes which means you get to keep your shoes on.
Well, not always. PreCheck-approved passengers are still subject to random security checks like everyone else. Still, it's probably better that than being stuck in line behind the guy with all those snakes in his pants.
This work is the opinion of the columnist and does not reflect the opinion of ABC News.
Rick Seaney is one of the country's leading experts on airfare, giving interviews and analysis to news organizations that include ABC News, The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Reuters, the Associated Press and Bloomberg. His website, FareCompare.com, offers consumers free, new-generation software, combined with expert insider tips to find the best airline ticket deals.