Birth-Inducing Drugs Stolen by Mistake

— -- Next Time Check the Label …

NOBLESVILLE, Ind. — You might call them OxyMorons.

Four men broke into a veterinarian's office looking for OxyContin, a painkiller that can be crushed and snorted to produce a heroin-like high.

Instead, they took oxytocin, a drug that induces childbirth, stimulates milk production, and is believed to help stimulate mothering instincts.

"They're not very smart," said Sgt. Eddie Moore of the Hamilton County Sheriff's Department.

The four individuals — James Fye, 19, Scott Earlywine, 19, Kieth Keele, 18, Rolla Keven Thompson, 19 — are suspected in a string of 17 burglaries in five different counties in Indiana.

Police say they targeted doctors' offices and dental offices and were primarily looking for cash, not drugs.

But, Moore said, they had taken nitrous oxide — commonly known as laughing gas — from one facility, and grabbed the oxytocin from the vet's clinic.

"They ran across something that said Oxy, and they thought, 'Hey we hit the jackpot,'" Moore said.

OxyContin is often referred to as "Oxy" by street users. Abuse of the drug has been linked to several deaths, and is considered a major health problem in several parts of the country.

What they took, however was oxytocin, which is not known for its narcotic effects.

"Oxytocin induces labor and lactation," Moore explained. "I don't know if they ever used it."

The four men face multiple burglary, theft, and drug charges.

Three Stooges Fan in Trouble? Why Soitenly!

LUBBOCK, Texas —

It was a decision worthy of Larry, Moe, and Curly themselves.

A Lubbock, Texas, man admitted to creating an identity theft and money-laundering scheme using the name of the Three Stooges fictional law firm, Dewy Cheetum and Howe.

The joke became his undoing, however, when a bank executive became suspicious.

Patrick Penker pleaded guilty Monday to stealing $1 million from casinos and credit card companies over the past four years.