5 Funniest Quotes From Mindy Kaling’s Harvard Law Speech

May 29, 2014— -- When you think of the best candidate for "Harvard Law School graduation speaker," Mindy Kaling probably isn't the first person that comes to mind. But the actress, comedian, producer and writer returned to her hometown --Cambridge, Mass. -- on Wednesday to deliver a speech at the Harvard Law Class Day ceremony, and she rocked it.

Here are five of the most hilarious quotes from Kaling's speech:

1. On her glamorous lifestyle: "I know what you’re probably thinking: Mindy Kaling, why did they ask her? She’s just a pretty Hollywood starlet. What does that quadruple threat know about the law? Sure, she seems really down to earth and pretty in a totally accessible way. And, yeah, she was on People magazine’s Most Beautiful People list this year -- and also in 2008 -- but what intelligent remarks could she possibly make about the law? She’s probably too busy doing shampoo commercials."

2. On graduates' future jobs: "You will help a cable company acquire a telecom company. You will defend BP from birds. You will spend hours arguing that the well water was contaminated before the fracking occurred. One of you will sort out the details of my prenup.”

3. On Harvard Law's glorious history: "Harvard Law has an incredible number of illustrious alumni. President Barack Obama attended Harvard Law, or so he says. Elle Woods went here, from the trenchant documentary ‘Legally Blonde.’”

4. On helping humanity: “You are entering a profession where, no matter what the crime, you have to defend the alleged perpetrator. Across the campus, Harvard Business School graduates are receiving diplomas, and you will have to defend them.”

5. On Hollywood: "Celebrities give too much advice, and people listen to it too much. In Hollywood, we all think we're these wise advice givers, and most of us have no education whatsoever."

Kaling also joked that she knows law because she sues everyone. Her speech wasn't all jokes, though. She also mentioned her parents' immigration to the U.S., and encouraged Harvard Law graduates to "try to be the kind of people who give advice to celebrities, not the other way around."