Wills of the Rich and Vengeful

You know you're in the doghouse when your wealthy father leaves this parting shot in his chatty will, "To my son, I leave the pleasure of earning a living, which he had not done in 35 years."

Brooke Astor is seen at the Merchant's House Museum in New York in May 1997, when she presented $1...

Brooke Astor is seen at the Merchant's House Museum in New York in May 1997, when she presented $1 million to the Historic House Trust. In one of the most prominent cases of elder abuse and fraud, jurors reached a verdict in the trial of Brooke Astor's son, Tony Marshall.

(Serge Levy/AP Photo)
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Or: "To my daughter, I leave $1,000. She will need it. The only good piece of business her husband ever did was to marry her."

Stories abound of monied eccentrics who speak from the great beyond with their will.

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Just today, Queen of Mean Leona Helmsley cut off two of her grandchildren and left a $12 million trust fund to her dog, Trouble, whose body — when he goes to the kennel in the sky — will lie beside her in a mausoleum.

The late wife of billionaire hotelier Harry Helmsley also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, when she checked out. Rosenthal was responsible for caring for Helmsley's beloved white Maltese. The other two grandchildren were spared her final wrath and left $5 million each — providing they visit their father's grave at least once a year.

The dirt-hating Helmsley ordered that the mausoleum be "washed or steam-cleaned at least once a year," for which she left $3 million.

Helmsley also remembered the "little people" in her life and threw her chauffeur a bone — $100,000.

Probate lawyers say the will is a person's last chance to seek revenge or reward the living — even if that means a beloved pet.

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At her death at 105 earlier this month, the philanthropic Brooke Astor left $250,000 to the Animal Medical Center in New York City — specifically for the veterinary care of the pets of poor and old people.

"Most states really try to honor whatever you put in your will," said Elizabeth Schwartz, a Florida lawyer who focuses on probate. "People see this as their final 'screw you' or 'I love you.'

"I always tell people, 'Do what you want to do,'" she said.

According to the popular "People's Book of Lists," a Londoner willed his fortune to his sons "on the strict condition that they would not inherit the legacy if they became members of Parliament or undertook any form of public office, speculate on stock exchange, convert to any other religion or even marry outside the Jewish faith."