Book Excerpt: 'Myths, Lies and Downright Stupidity'

March 7, 2008 — -- Do girls feel more pressure to have sex? Would a kid lie about being molested by a teacher? John Stossel examines these questions and more in his book, "Myths, Lies and Downright Stupidity: Get Out the Shovel -- Why Everything You Know Is Wrong." Read about four different sex myths in this excerpt from his book, below.

MYTH: Girls feel the most pressure to have sex.

TRUTH: Boys say it isn't so.

It's an image we've all grown up with: The boys are aggressors and girlsare reluctant prey. If it was ever that way, it isn't today.

Now it's boys, more than girls, who feel pushed into having sex. My colleagueDeborah Roberts recently interviewed several high school students from New Jersey who confirmed a surprising survey from the Kaiser Foundation: 33 percent of teen boys feel pressure to have sex, compared to only 23 percent of girls.

HIGH SCHOOL BOY: Like, guys who were experienced with having sex, they'dbe, like, going to younger kids, like, "Well, I have sex like, all of thetime."

DEBORAH ROBERTS: So, does that make you feel the pressure to have sex, becauseyou don't want to own up to not having done it?

HIGH SCHOOL BOY: [It] gets me nervous like, knowing that I'm at this ageand I haven't -- done it yet. And, like, everyone else has so, like,maybe, like, I feel like I should be doing it.

2ND HIGH SCHOOL BOY: When you're with somebody, there's a lot of pressurefrom your friends. Like, all right now you're with her, how long is itgoing to take you? What are you waiting for?

Boys aren't necessarily the unabashed sexual predators we'd always assumed.Often, when they pressure girls, it's only because they feel pressurethemselves.

MYTH: Talking to your kids about sex will make them want to havesex.

TRUTH: They're already thinking about it.

I understand why people hesitate to talk to teens about sex. It's logical tothink that if we parents bring it up, our kids will think, "Oh, I guess it's time forus to do it."

Yet there's a lot the kids should know. Not talking about sex leaves roomfor so much ignorance. Years ago, there was so little sex talk that even adultswere ignorant. That's actually why we now have products like Kellogg's CornFlakes and graham crackers. People thought spicy foods would lead kids tohave sex -- Dr. Justin Richardson, author of "Everything You Never Wanted YourKids to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid They'd Ask," explained that those blandfoods were designed to avoid "inflaming the sexual appetite." Today we knowmore about sex, and parents are told, "Don't wait for the kids to ask, you bringit up." I spoke to Dr. Richardson.

STOSSEL: Couldn't bringing up the subject backfire? If you tell a twelveyear-old kid about sex, they're going to want to go have sex.

DR. JUSTIN RICHARDSON: That's the myth and it's a really common fear. Butthe research says the answer is no.

STOSSEL: And how can that be? I mean I would think the twelve-year-old,the fourteen-year-old says, "Gee, if everybody is talking about it, Ishould check this stuff out." He might have never thought about it beforethen.

DR. JUSTIN RICHARDSON: You may not be going there as a parent. But believeme, their friends are going there! And the media is going there.They're hearing about sex. What you want to do is lend your voice tothe chorus. It's important to make sure that somebody is talking toyour kid about sex other than their best buddy or a character on a televisionshow.

Twenty-eight studies of school sex education programs, regardless ofwhether they teach abstinence or condoms, found no suggestion that earlysex discussions lead to earlier experimentation. Nine studies concluded itmade the kids wait longer to have sex. Of course sex ed isn't the same as parentsed (there are no controlled studies on parents talking to children), butevery expert we asked said: Talk to your kids.

Susan's daughter, Emily, was twelve when Susan decided to have TheTalk.

SUSAN: I said, the best time to do this is in the car.

EMILY: She locked the doors, wouldn't let me get out. [Emily was so uncomfortable,she wouldn't look at her mother.] I looked at my feet, the floor,out the window. Anywhere else but at my mom.