How Kabbalah Could Help Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Oct. 12, 2011 — -- As reports about alleged infidelity swirl around Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, they've sought solace at Los Angeles' Kabbalah Centre. According to those versed in the branch of Jewish mysticism, amid the uncertainty of who's done what, it's the one thing the couple is probably doing right.

"In Kabbalah it says that there are three people in every marriage: A man, a woman, and God," New York-based Rabbi Aaron L. Raskin said. "There's no question that the more you bring God into a marriage, the more you solidify the marriage."

Spiritual folks of all stripes would likely concur. But in Hollywood, Kabbalah has a special place when it comes to at-risk marriages. Madonna and Guy Ritchie sought Kabbalah counseling ahead of their 2008 divorce.

Moore and Kutcher have been to at least two Kabbalah services since reports about his dalliances with a 23-year-old student emerged. According to People magazine, they embraced after a Friday night service in Los Angeles, and they reportedly went on camping trip to Santa Barbara over the weekend with a Kabbalah leader. Last year, they embarked on a spiritual retreat to Israel after similar infidelity rumors bubbled up.

While representatives for Moore and Kutcher have yet to comment on the latest reports, it makes sense that they're ramping up their Kabbalah involvement.

"Just as marriage itself and the monogamous relationship between the husband and wife is considered to be pure and holy, adultery or infidelity was understood to be an expression of extreme impurity and sin," said Eitan Fishbane, assistant professor of Jewish thought at the Jewish Theological Seminary and author of the forthcoming book "The Sabbath Soul."

Raskin likened cheating on one's spouse to a "violation of the eternal soul." But it is possible, and encouraged, to salvage a marriage in the wake of infidelity.

"You have to acknowledge the mistake, you have to regret that mistake, and then you have to abandon that way of life," Raskin said. "Then you have to have the birth of repentance by changing your ways.

"Unless it's an abusive marriage and the husband is totally not trustworthy," he added, "You should try to work on it."

Moore, 48, and Kutcher, 33, have spent many of the past few weeks apart. He's in Los Angeles filming "Two and a Half Men"; she's in New York working on her new movie, "Magic Mike." Raskin advocated that they stop living on separate coasts but suggested an unconventional, at least in these times of instant gratification, separation to help their marriage.

"In Kabbalah tradition, when a woman has her period, they separate for 12 days," he said. "They're in he same house, but there's no intimacy, no touching for 12 days. They don't advertise it out of modesty, but this is, I believe, the biggest secret to a happy marriage. When you separate, you appreciate what you have."

That said, Kabbalah can only do so much. Kutcher nodded to that when he sent encouraging tweets to Moore Monday night for the premiere of her Lifetime TV anthology, "Five." "@mrskutcher good luck tonight!," he wrote, "you should be proud." While Moore tweeted often throughout the premiere, she failed to respond to Kutcher's message.

"There's no magical mystical cure to the challenges of relationships," Fishbane said. "Relationships are a mysterious journey that two people need to work on together."