Demi Lovato reveals what held them back from coming out as nonbinary

"If I had listened to the patriarchy my life would have never changed."

June 1, 2021, 9:41 AM

Demi Lovato is embracing their truth after recently coming out as nonbinary and, in a new interview, the "Confident" singer explained what kept them from coming out sooner.

Speaking with actress Jane Fonda on her Fire Drill Fridays livestream, Lovato explained that they first had to realize that fulfilling gender roles and religious expectations was not a requirement to find happiness.

The two-time Grammy nominee, who is also pansexual, touched upon the "norms that were already pushed onto me when it came to sexuality and gender" while growing up Christian in Dallas, Texas.

Lovato said they struggled inside of those molds "for as long as I can remember," saying their attraction to both men and women led to "confusing" moments in their life, such as "being 10 years old [and] attracted to women and not knowing what that meant as a Christian."

The "Anyone" singer said they had to realize they were put "in a box" of being told, "You are a female, this is what you’re supposed to like, this is what you’re supposed to do, don’t dream bigger and don’t speak louder."

Lovato added that those were "the ways that the patriarchy has been holding me back," and that their near-fatal overdose in 2018 forced them to "wake up and start living my life for me."

"When I strip myself of the norms that society has pushed on me ... I have become the most complete and authentic version of myself," they said.

"If I had listened to the patriarchy, my life would have never changed," the 28-year-old noted. "My gender, my pronouns would have never changed. I probably would have been married to a man with kids doing the thing that I was raised to believe I should do."