The Joy of Motherhood: Reality or Myth?

But some moms say that Kirwin-Taylor is missing the point of parenthood and strongly disagree with her when it comes to reading bedtime stories and participating in children's activities. "Why did she have children in the first place if she wasn't gong to be all into it? You're going to have to do things that you don't want to do and hopefully you will want to do them because you'll see the joy in your child's face," said one suburban mom.

Another mom said, "There are some people who are like that. You know, anytime it takes away from themselves, they're not happy and they don't like it."

What Makes a Good Mom?

Kirwin-Taylor laments the fact that her article created a war, instead of dispelling a taboo. But is there a middle ground when it comes to the mommy wars?

Authors Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile, who co-wrote "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I had Kids," think they have found it.

"We're not united enough," Nobile said, "and we're kind of pitting ourselves against each other in order to just make ourselves feel like, 'Oh, I'm doing a good job. I'm making the right choice.'"

They make the point that mothers shouldn't expect perfection of themselves or each other.

Now that Kirwin-Taylor's sons are 13 and 11, she feels that her relationship with them has matured and now enjoys sharing activities with them.

"I had this idea that good mothers read three bedtime stories. Good mothers do not get tired, they do not get stressed, they do not lose their temper. They do not think any homework is boring. They don't think anything is boring," she said.

"I'm quite proud of myself because now, we've come out of the war and now, I'm in the fun bit. And now, we can talk about everything and we're all great friends."

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