"Hi," writes Czech singer Nicky Tucková. "My name is Nicky and this is my first video clip." And, thus, the world was changed. Nicky's song, "Rich Boy," tells the timeless tale of a young woman who is not a [bleep]; she just wants to be rich. The video showcases Nicky's soulful singing style, her love of politics and her collection of fur-lined accessories. It's nothing short of amazing, and judging from its lyrics (Sample: "I wanna eat pork." Or, possibly, "I will not eat pork." Either way, it's perfect.), probably a joke. But that doesn't mean we can't revel in its so-bad-it's-goodness.
Of course, hers is by no means not the first video to be so awful that it's downright delightful. A lot of solidly "good" music videos can be predictible, boring. But bad videos -- the ludicrous, the ill-advised, the deliriously campy -- are the most fun. Let's check out some of the best of the worst...
|Wendy Sulca, "La Tetita"|
Peruvian singer Wendy Sulca, now 16, first skyrocketed to online pseudo-fame in the early aughts when, at age 8, she released her video for a song about her mother's breasts. Now that she's slightly older, she's gone from praising her mother's breastmilk to covering Madonna's "Like a Virgin."
|La Tigresa del Oriente, "Nuevo Amanecer"|
Perfect lighting? Check. Animal print? Check. Children walking behind your dancers? Check. Man in a leotard? Double check. Peruvian songstress La Tigresa del Oriente -- née Juana Judith Bustos Ahuite -- brought a certain flair to her early videos that eventually got her noticed by Warner Bros. Records Mexico, with whom she signed a year contract. More recently, she has accused Lady Gaga of copying her style.
|Delfín Hasta El Fin, La Tigresa Del Oriente y Wendy Sulca, "En Tus Tierras Bailaré"|
|Heidi Montag, "Higher"|
When you're a reality TV star constantly at risk of falling into pop culture obscurity, be sure to create a music video for absolutely no reason at all. Seagulls are a plus.
|Gerardo, "Rico Suave"|
Bandanas. Leather jackets. Toplessness. Mom jeans. There's no question that Gerardo personified late '80s/early '90s beefcakeitude unlike any other. Unfortunately, that particular look grew dated quickly, and no number of ladies in painted-on dresses or hunky dudes performing the running man could save "Rico Suave" from becoming one of the most awesomely cringe-inducing music videos of our time.
|Scandal, "The Warrior"|
Yes, "Warrior" is catchy as hell, but the video was so over-the-top, ludicrous, and... Spandex'd that singer Patty Smyth begged her record label not to release it. "I had no idea it would look like an off-Broadway version of Cats," she's said.
|Welcome to Ark|
Ark Music Factory is the entity responsible for such hit-makers as Rebecca Black and CJ Fam. One of its founders, Patrice Wilson, went on to establish Pato Music World (PMW), home to stars like Nicole Westbrook and Tweenchronic. Any of those videos would fall into the "so bad it's JUST BAD" category, but Ark Music Factory's odd intro video--with its stale graphics, unceasing echo, and assumptions about our familiarity of its ever-expanding stable of manufactured tween performers--is definitely so bad it's great.