Shark Week, Where's a Show About Pool Sharks?

Aug 07, 2013— -- I have an important announcement to make: I am afraid of pool sharks.

The fear of pool sharks is an irrational fear of sharks, as you may have guessed, living in your swimming pool. (Actually, the rationality of the fear is open to debate.)

For a long time I thought I was the only one who was so scarred by shark movies and growing up in Florida that I had become terrified of all bodies of water -- natural or otherwise. That is, until I mentioned my fear to a friend who immediately squealed with delight because she was scared of pool sharks, too. We were each so happy to have found someone else crazy and paranoid enough to rationalize a shark living in chlorinated water (reason: pool sharks love chlorine).

So naturally, during this week's Shark Week festivities (read: Romina Torture Week), I wondered if Discovery had ever done a show on irrational shark fears. They hadn't. But to my surprise I found a whole community of people online who shared my fear. Some forums had great suggestions for conquering the fear, and others had really dumb suggestions, like emptying out your pool to prove that there are no sharks.

C'mon. Amateur move. The sharks would know you're doing this, hide out in the drain, and come back when you refill your pool.

So, Shark Week, I suggest you take advantage and have a show next year that addresses people's pool/river/bathtub/toilet shark fears, maybe making terrified contestants face their fears. I'd sign up.

Just kidding: No, I wouldn't. But I'd definitely watch.