8 Reasons Why We Haven't Seen Pictures of North West Kardashian

July 22, 2013— -- When celebrities have babies one of two things usually happens in order for the world to see this magnificent creature that's so different from any other fatball that has ever come out of a woman before:

The couple releases photos of the baby on their social media accounts in the most Lion King scenario possible (like the first moment the mother holds the baby, or the first time the father holds the baby, or the baby wearing their first fur coat or Alexander Wang crop top, or the cutting of the umbilical cord, you know, epic baby moments).

The other way of showcasing the "big reveal" is to accept a hefty check by a gossip magazine and agree to some Glamour Shots of the baby in satin sheets with the parents looking like they just rolled out of bed looking perfect.

I'm going to be really let down the day I have kids and people send me Facebook messages asking that I please stop posting pictures of my newborn.

So, the question on everyone's mind right now is probably why the heck haven't we seen pictures of the most talked about baby of 2013 pre-royal baby: North West. Here are 8 possibilities:

1. They're waiting to steal the Royal Baby's media moment.

2. They're waiting for North to be old enough to be able to manage her own social media accounts.

3. They haven't offered Kris Kardashian enough money yet.

4. Kanye wants to have her solo album drop at the same damn time as his next album.

5. They're second-guessing the name North... Maybe East West is more controversial.

6. They're waiting for the current season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians to be over (having the final episode be the baby's "unveiling" of course).

7. Kim is waiting to lose all the baby weight (can't blame her... this is probably actually what's happening).

8. There never was a baby. They're actually looking for the most beautiful adoptee possible, right now.