Strong female characters are in short supply in Hollywood, so when news broke that Griselda Blanco, aka Miami's "Cocaine Godmother," had been assassinated in Medellin recently, we were secretly excited about the biopic possibilities. Though no formal plans exist for such a project, we know it's only a matter of time before someone jumps on it.
While French director Olivier Assayas (Carlos) is our No. 1 pick for behind the camera, there's more than one actress capable of portraying the ruthless drug lord who is to white lines what McDonald's is to fast food. To give Hollywood a helping hand in the casting department, here's an initial list of five Latinas who could slay the role, and five who should stay away.
Salma Hayek The Mexican powerhouse would probably be any producer's top choice to play Blanco. Who cares that she portrayed a nearly identical character in the instant cartel classic Savages earlier this year? She was so deliciously convincing as a cunning yet oddly sensitive cartel boss (coincidentally nicknamed "Madrina") in the Oliver Stone film, we look forward to seeing her do the Colombian version.
Penelope Cruz She was the first to violate the "don't get high on your own supply" rule in Blow, but we still think Cruz could pull this off, bringing at the very least an interesting accent and striking beauty to the role. She already proved she can hold a gun in Bandidas.
Eva Mendes Beauty and cojones make for a Molotov cocktail when it comes to this one, and Eva's action flick credits run deep. Plus, we have no problem believing that she, like Blanco, would be willing to slash the throat of any lover who betrays her.
Catalina Sandino Moreno Beauty, acting chops and an authentic Colombian accent make the Oscar-nominated actress our top pick to play the Cocaine Godmother, a fitting evolution from the innocent drug-muling teenager she portrayed in her breakout film, Maria Full of Grace.
Zoe Saldana We love you, Zoe, and we know you tried your best to be fierce in Colombiana. But eat a burger, then we'll talk.
America Ferrera Only if you believe Griselda is the type of woman who would hide a kilo under a colorful, Ugly Betty-style poncho, and try to sneak it past the border by bribing immigration agents with homemade tamales.
Eva Longoria Rather than play the part that would require her to ruin her eye makeup, we suggest Eva goes with her strengths and teams up with Mario Lopez to form an advocacy group to help drug-addicted Latino teens kick their cocaine habits. And then talk about it on Extra.
Sofia Vergara Only if instead of a biopic, the Griselda Blanco story became a family-oriented animated adventure film about a sassy temptress struggling to keep control over Miami's Diet Pepsi trade.
Jennifer Lopez This could be great, if only Blanco wasn't so much bloodthirsty coke pusher as misunderstood career gal who is unlucky in love, until Rodrigo Santoro comes along and whisks her right out of her steel-toe boots.