Holiday Party Damage Control

Nov. 27, 2008 — -- Like most workers, I once had a boss who drank a few too many cups of eggnog at the company holiday party and crossed almost every line in the book.

His slurred speech, lack of volume control and over-the-top displays of affection were bad enough. But they didn't hold a candle to the impromptu performance he gave of "What's the Buzz" from "Jesus Christ Superstar" -- complete with choreography -- just before passing out.

Mortified on Monday morning, my boss came to work dressed like Clark Kent, from chunky black glasses and newscaster hair to drab suit and tie. Because jeans and an indie rock T-shirt were standard dress at the small, media company where he worked, his hasty makeover quickly became as hot a topic around the water cooler as his holiday party train wreck.

Which raises the question: Will the holidays bite you, too, in the rear this year?

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According to a survey released in November by online payroll service SurePayroll, 60 percent of small businesses plan to throw their employees a holiday bash this year, recession be damned. With employers more layoff-happy than ever, the last thing you want to do at a holiday party is give the powers that be reason to question your judgment.

Obviously, the best way to avoid being the office party casualty is to not drink like a fish. But considering that rehab facility Caron Treatment Centers recently reported that 64 percent of office party attendees have seen a co-worker get sloppy drunk, there's a decent chance many of us will throw caution to the wind and join the ranks of my former boss.

So let's assume you do get so sauced at your office party that you wind up dancing on the bar, groping someone you shouldn't and/or reenacting your favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. How can you save your reputation -- and your job -- come Monday morning?