'Working Wounded': Gender Divide

Dec. 31, 2004 — -- DEAR READERS: Two weeks ago, I ran an e-mail from a woman manager who talked about the difference in management styles between men and women. The column generated a lot of mail. I've included a few of the most interesting responses below. Can you guess whether a man or woman wrote each one?

Stereotype No. 1: Men are born to lead. No one has the 'birthright' to be in management. She wonders how different it would have been had women managed first. I hate to break it to you, but women have been managing multiple responsibilities throughout time.

Stereotype No. 2: Women can't delegate. She describes her style more as 'coach' but then adds that she has difficulty in delegating because it's just easier and faster to do it herself. Coaches provide the 'big picture', know their people's strengths, assign responsibility and hold them accountable for results.

Stereotype No. 3: Women are more passive. She is working with the 'same title and salary while filling in for her male boss,' the implication being that he was paid more, but she's 'not bitter.' Before taking on more responsibility and authority, she should have looked up 'negotiation' in the dictionary. You lose respect, not gain it, by 'going along to get along.'

I do agree that men and women have different styles of management, but we're not that far apart. I would recommend some serious career counseling to find a more appropriate job for this person (preschool teacher?). It's past time to put her, and her company, out of their misery."

So what does this grand exercise prove? Well, while the group responses varied somewhat based on gender, in the end, overall management styles aren't tied to one's chromosomes, as much as to one's personality and the approach to his or her team. In the years I've been writing this column, and in my professional experience, I've seen and read about saints and ogres, and, somehow, the ma'am or mister end of it really didn't seem to matter.

FYI, all five of the responses above were written by women.

We'd like to hear your thoughts about male vs. women management styles. I'll give an autographed copy of "Working Wounded: Advice that adds insight to injury" (Warner, 2000) to the best submission. Send your entry, name & address via: http://workingwounded.com or via email: bob@workingwounded.com. Entries must be received by Wednesday (January 5th).

Here are the results from a recent workingwounded.com/ABCNEWS.com online ballot:
Which best sums up your feelings about men and women at work?

Our winning strategy about men vs. women in management comes from Rory C. in Cyberspace.:

"For me, the idea of 'female' and 'male' management styles seems like a classic stereotype. As with many other gender- or race-based stereotypes, the management styles among female (or male) managers differ as much or more than the management styles across genders. Female management can be aggressive or 'masculine' and quick to delegate, just as male management often has characteristics your writer might describe as 'feminine.' "

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. His newest best seller, "GRAY MATTERS: The Workplace Survival Guide" (Wiley, 2004), is a business comic book that trades cynicism for solutions. Ask Bob a question: bob@workingwounded.com or http://graymattersbook.com

ABCNEWS.com publishes a new Working Wounded column every Friday.