Shiantology? We Propose Some Other Celebrity Religions

Aug. 2, 2009 — -- And on the seventh day, they created Shiantology. That's right, a group of fans has founded a religion based on Shia LaBeouf. Their mission statement says:

"Characterized by a belief in the power of Shia's spirit to clear itself of past painful experiences (in particular, hand smashing, car crashes, and drunken outbursts in Walgreen's) through self-knowledge, spiritual fulfillment and copious amounts of Arizona Ice Tea. Shiantology places an emphasis upon Shia's immortal spirit, Shiacarnation, an extrascientific method of pshiachotherapy (Shianetics), and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, daily SHIA WALKING POSTS."

And if that weren't amazing enough, check out their Shiart collection of Shia's mug in place of religious icons by clicking here.

Amazing. This has inspired us to come up with some new celebrity-based religions.

Jolism. Believe in the power of Angelina Jolie and her ability to make everyone else feel inadequate for not having a movie career, working with the UN, raising our own personal UN, being married to the most famous man in Hollywood, and making time to look beautiful. This is the mean girl's religion cause. By joining, you have to pledge to leave America's sweethearts in the dust in order to effectively worship. You've reached Jolistic nirvana when your arms resemble Skeletor and you can still carry at least two babies of different nationalities, while not breaking the vial of your boyfriend's blood around your neck.

Opraisiastic. It's no secret that Oprah Winfrey already runs the world and she already has a giant congregation of followers. Many women might not even realize they are Opraisiastic. They read the books in her book club and buy those berries from the Amazon to lose weight—it's almost a full-time endeavor to keep up with everything Oprah has endorsed. Convert, start book clubs, go on weight loss pacts with the others, then invite them to a giant dinner party, and start the cycle over again next week.