Oscar Fashion Report

The 76th Annual Academy Awards are over and as Oscar winner Renée Zellweger might say as her character Ruby Thewes in "Cold Mountain," "Wahoo!"

The show itself was long (no surprise there) and early on, it tended to head down that trail many award shows seem to follow … the boring one. Many of the winners in the major categories were predicted to win early in the season, so there was little excitement on that front.

The political speeches were also kept to a minimum for fear bad verbal behavior would haunt the lucky Oscar grippers for years to come. The director of the Best Documentary, "The Fog of War," let rip a tirade, but folks expected that. … After all, it was a documentary.

In essence, though, it was like watching a pre-determined awards show for reformed performers.

I will say the return of Billy Crystal after a four-year absence was fun. Without fail, he came through from the get-go with the opening montage where he appeared in clips of the five Best Picture nominees. He made several witty comments throughout the evening, but seemed to be not as funny overall as in years past.

So, what we have to do is cling to the memories of the fashion and the red carpet to keep us peppy at the water cooler when discussing this year's Oscars.

The Passion of the Fashion

The women were glamorous, very glamorous, and they were wearing more bling-bling than a group of hip-hoppers at a diamond jewelry flea market. Even Zellweger, who rarely wears accoutrements, if ever, sported over 100 carats of diamonds in total, borrowed from Cartier. The only thing, as in years past, she wasn't wearing: any earrings. As my mother always said, "Your outfit is incomplete without ear wear." (You don't want to know what I used to say back!)

Unfortunately, there wasn't anything missing from the dresses, as in fabric. The women were well-covered. (Thank you Miss Jackson!) Instead of plunging necklines and overzealous cleavage, the ladies tended to go for elegance. Colors were more muted as with Charlize Theron, Patricia Clarkson, Naomi Watts and Julia Roberts.

Those that decided to go with color carried it well. Best Supporting Actress nominee Shohreh Aghdashloo looked radiant in scarlet red as did Catherine Zeta-Jones, flanked by her papa, er, I mean husband, Michael Douglas. A few ladies decided to wear white, which was more last year's color. Diane Lane was one of them, and although she was a year late and a dress short, she looked lovely.

Not so lovely was Sandra Bullock, who looked as though she hopped off the top of a wedding cake to make it to the show. The dress was gathered in two sections at the bottom and those sections trimmed in feathers. Yuck!

Penn Better Late (and With Mom) Than Never

A few other ladies sported fashion faux pas, not to the severity of Bjork's swan dress, but faux pas nonetheless. Uma Thurman was one of them in a white sheer, tiered dress with layered sleeves and a crazy vest that was tied around the front. She looked as though she should've been part of "The Lord of the Rings" cast as their very own Princess Bride.

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