Talk about predictable news: The Wolf Files asked several top psychics about the fate of their own profession, and they see great things in their own future.
August ushers in National Psychic Week, and just to let you know how cynical I am, you can be sure that if I had psychic powers, I'd run to a racetrack and make it so that my children's children's children wouldn't have to work.
An even easier payday would be to collect the $1 million prize from the James Randi Educational Foundation in Florida, offered to any demonstration of paranormal powers under laboratory conditions.
"Please take my money," says Randi, renewing his challenge to the clairvoyant community. "If you feel bad about it, donate the $1 million to any charity you want."
Thank goodness most psychics don't exploit their extrasensory perception. For just a small fee, they'll tell our fortunes, and we apparently need them more than ever. Here are some visions of the future by and for people who say they see into the future.
1. Even ET Needs a Psychic: Space Crystal Balls By the year 2030, extraterrestrials will not only phone home, they'll be sending intergalactic greetings with the help of clairvoyant translators, says Sylvia Browne, one of TV's most famous psychics.
"It's abundantly clear that we already have extraterrestrials living among us, and people are stepping forward who can communicate with them," says Browne, 68, who shares predictions in her new book, Prophecy: What The Future Holds For You (Dutton).
"We shouldn't be scared of ETs," she says. "If they wanted to destroy us, they would have a long time ago."
In the next 25 years, Brown sees a world where robot-servants will become everyday appliances. Doors will lock at the blink of an eye, and we'll take trips to the moon to meet with advanced life forms from other planets.
By that time, psychics will be licensed professionals, like doctors and lawyers, to help us communicate and do business with these new life forms. "The need is coming to test and license psychics to protect the world from rip-off artists," says Browne, "And we know they're out there."
2. The Psychic News Network: We Predict, You Decide
Are you ready for tomorrow's news today? It's time for Ahead-Line News, a 30-minute weekly TV show that features four top psychics predicting future headlines, with correspondents in the field where tomorrow's news is expected to occur.
"You get to keep tabs with what psychics predict, and if they're not right, they're risking their own reputations," says Frank Lunn, who is pitching the show to several networks and hopes to have it up in a year.
Viewers may be warned to turn the channel if they don't want to ruin the suspense of Election Day. Ahead-Line News might even poll other psychics so that you can see what President Nader's approval rating might be, 18 months from now.
Just beware the broadcast that ends with, "The weather tomorrow will be partially sunny, followed by the collapse of civilization and life as we know it. Good night."
3. Do-It-Yourself Precognition: Be Your Own Intuitive Consultant
When the phone rings, do you have an uncanny sense of who's on the line? We all have the power to develop our paranormal powers, according to Lynn Robinson, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being Psychic.
Unfortunately, while anyone can learn to play the piano, not all of us can play like Liberace. Apparently, you may still need to pay a professional.