Attention all pathetic single men: If John Wayne Bobbitt can find another wife, there's hope for you, too.
The has-been tabloid star exchanged vows with Joanna Ferrell, 31, in Las Vegas on Saturday — his 35th birthday. This wedding comes more than eight years after his first wife, Lorena, cut off his penis and chucked it out her car window, as she sped away from their home in tears.
In a nationally televised trial, Lorena maintained she was driven over the edge after years of abuse. She was acquitted by reason of insanity. Bobbitt left the Virginia courtroom with a surgically reattached penis — which he immediately turned into a meal ticket.
Life as a human punch line offered temporary rewards — the guest spots on Howard Stern, and, of course, the bare-all porn videos (John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut and the less successful Frankenpenis.)
That gravy train long ago ran out of gas. He failed as a standup comic, then as a "greeter" at a Nevada brothel, then as a carnival sideshow performer. He's had several brushes with the law. Between short stints in jail, he's been on probation or drifting.
"We tried to involve him into a knife-throwing act, since he knows all to well what it's like to be cut," said Jim Rose, the impresario of the Jim Rose Circus.
"All Bobbitt had to do was stand still, really, and he couldn't do that."
Rose had thought Bobbitt would be perfect to join his menagerie, which include transvestite wrestlers; a contortionist who can squeeze through the head of a tennis racquet; "Insectivore," a professional insect-eater; and "Lizardman," a tattoo artist with a split tongue.
"I don't call it a sideshow," he said. "I would call it a thrill spectacular."
Rose also considered setting Bobbitt up as a "Human Blockhead," an act that would have required him to hammer nails and other objects up his nose. But several months ago, Rose gave up.
However, now that Bobbitt is married, Rose wonders whether he's finally grounded. "I've worked with lots of people who have turned their lives around," he says.
No. 1 FAQ: ‘Does It Still Work?’
Another of Bobbitt's former employers predicts that it's only a matter of time before he's back in trouble again.
"I tried pretty hard to help that guy out, but he really is a stupid, low-life creep," said Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nev., a brothel that employs more than 200 prostitutes.
"I have only pity for Bobbitt's new wife."
Bobbitt had a $50,000-a-year job as a bartender/chauffeur/handyman. Hof said he wasn't particularly good at anything but had some "face value" with his customers.
Members of the staff remember guests frequently asking Bobbitt one question: "Does it still work?"
Apparently, it does. Perhaps too well. The madam regularly warned him to keep his hands off the ladies. "We had an agreement," says Hof. "He wasn't supposed to drink, leave town, or sleep with my girls — and he did all three."
Even Bobbitt's celebrity was a liability. Guests frequently asked to see Bobbitt's penis and Bobbitt became more amenable — after he had enlargement surgery. "I had to tell him, 'Dude, this isn't a petting zoo,'" Hof said.
Still, Hof posted a $10,000 bond in 1998 when Bobbitt was charged in connection with the theft of $150,000 of clothing.
"He is a nice, pleasant person — with absolutely no brain," says Hof. "Even with everything he's gone through, he's still a boring oaf."
Hof eventually decided that Bobbitt was more trouble than he was worth and cut him loose.
A Next Chapter?
Bobbitt has spent the last few years drifting between Las Vegas and upstate New York. He pleaded guilty to the theft charge and was also convicted of battering a former girlfriend.
Bobbitt still appears on talk radio, but the paying gigs are few and far between. His former manager, Robert Yates, tricked him into doing another porn movie three years ago, setting up hidden cameras in a Nevada hotel room.
Bobbitt had threatened to sue. But in early 1999, he was in jail again, for shoving his girlfriend into a wall. In need of money, he and Yates cut a deal.
Now Bobbitt, the self-proclaimed bearer of "The Most Famous Penis in America," pushes on. Having wrung every last cent out of his dubious celebrity, he wakes up each morning in fear of becoming the one thing worse than a national joke. Forgotten.
Buck Wolf is entertainment producer at ABCNEWS.com. The Wolf Files is published Tuesdays. If you want to receive weekly notice when a new column is published, join the e-mail list.