Those long, closed-door meetings were all happening in 1992, prior to gearing up for our first movie, SBTB: Hawaiian Style. But before the movie was scheduled to begin filming on location in Hawaii for three months, the network was setting up an overseas trip for two cast members to do a press junket in Paris. Our promotional events had evolved over the years from mall tours and amusement parks to overseas trips as the popularity of the show spread in syndication around the world. The producers and network suits would decide which characters they were sending based on the exposure of the trip. Like I said, I got up to seven thousand pieces of fan mail per week, edging out all the other cast members by a small margin, but still consistently the most.
So, based on fan popularity, Mark-Paul and I were selected to go on the Paris trip together. They were sending the comedy team of Zack and his trusty sidekick, Screech. I was stoked. I already had my bags packed when, lo and behold, Princess Tiffani pitched a bitch. She went up to St. Peter's office for another hours-long, closed-door meeting, and when she re-emerged it was suddenly her and Mark-Paul now making the trip to gay Paree.
I mean, I really wanted to go to Paris, but not bad enough to find out what happened on the other side of St. Peter's closed office door. So Mark-Paul and Tiffani jetted off to the City of Light for what was supposed to be a week abroad promoting SBTB. As it turned out, the lovebirds were enjoying themselves so much they wound up convincing St. Peter and NBC to keep putting them up in Paris for a couple of months. That money didn't just materialize from thin air; it needed to be pulled from the budgets of other projects.
So when Tiffani and the Golden Child deplaned in California from their European holiday and it was time to go to Hawaii to shoot the movie, suddenly our three months on location had become three days. There was no money left in the budget for us to film there. All we did while we were in Hawaii was wander around through the scenery shooting B-roll footage with no dialogue. "Okay, you guys, act like you're playing on the beach . . ." "Okay, now walk along that footpath and gaze out over the water . . ." "Okay, stand there for a minute while we get this instantly recognizable Hawaiian landmark squarely in the frame . . ." "And no talking! We have to dub all this s*** later." "Okay, that's a wrap. Let's get back to L.A." We ended up filming the movie on the beach in Santa Monica, just down the freeway from Hollywood. SBTB: Santa Monica Style?
Tiffani liked to have her fun. Back in the day, guys would stop me on the street and say, "Tell me man, what's Tiffani really like. Can I have her number?" I'd say, "Dude, trust me, you don't want to go near that." Frankly, I just didn't see what the big fuss was about, but maybe that's because I worked so closely with her. I saw what she was like on a daily basis, and my final verdict was, "Meh." Besides, you show me the hottest girl in the world, and I'll show you a guy tired of banging her. Hell, Tommy Lee got sick of nailing Pamela Anderson. It gets old. It's just nature. Out in the forest, I suppose there must be owls sick of banging smokin' hot owls, and so forth."