"Growing Pains" star Jeremy Miller was like many actors who hit it big at a young age and succumbed to the temptations of alcohol and underage partying.
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"I'm glad I did not own a gun, because I hated myself so thoroughly that I would have done something very stupid," Miller told Entertainment Tonight about thoughts of suicide when things got really bad.
"Growing Pains" ran from 1985 to 1992 with Miller taking center stage as Ben Seaver, one of the main stars.
Miller told ET he started drinking at just 4 years old.
"My grandparents actually tell a story about how at 4 years old I would run around after their parties and clean up everybody's beers," he said, motioning that he would drink them.
ET said after the show ended in the early 1990's, Miller, 37, started to drink heavily. He described his worst days.
"I'd rush immediately to the liquor store," he said. "By noon, I'd be working on a pint of whatever I decided to buy - bourbon, vodka. By the evening, I'd be working on another pint."
He admitted he would black out.
"My boys were afraid of me," he said of his three sons.
Now, Miller claims a new treatment Naltrexone changed his life and he's working as a patient advocate at the Start Fresh Recovery clinic in Santa Ana, California.