Kate Gosselin: 'I Was Very Hard on Jon'

Now it's Kate Gosselin's turn to repent.

One day after Jon Gosselin waxed apologetic about his behavior before Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and legions of press, fans and critics, his estranged wife went on TLC to tell "Her Story." The short version: She's sorry for treating Jon poorly and prays that one day, he'll return to his former, family-friendly habits.

VIDEO: The reality TV star seeks spiritual guidance from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.
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"I was very hard on him and I would never deny that," Kate said on the Monday night TLC special. "I felt very much like a lot of weight rested on my shoulders."

"I was wrong to treat him that way," she added. "Was it good, healthy and wonderful? No. Am I proud of those moments that were captured? No."

"I still wake up every day, and I think the phone will ring," Kate said, choking back tears as she continued, "and it'll be the old Jon."

Though she's hurting, she's not wounded enough to step back from the spotlight.

"We can't turn life off ... I can't turn life off ... We're too far gone," Kate said. "Stepping out of the spotlight when it's prudent to do so is a good thing."

VIDEO: The View discuss Hailey Glassmans comments about Jon Gosselins behavior.
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While she and Jon still speak, it's never about his girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, or any of his other rumored exploits.

"We do [talk] where it relates to the kids," Kate said. "As far as dating goes, I've never, ever broached the subject with him as far as anything I've ever read, seen or heard."

And as for those rumors about Kate hooking up with her bodyguard, Steve Neild, consider them baseless.

"[The rumor is] so unthinkable to me that to have to think about it makes me sick," she said.

Jon Apologizes Too

Meanwhile, Jon's also regretting his recent actions. Sunday night at New York City's Westside Synagogue, the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" dad told a crowd of press, fans and critics that he's cooling things off with his girlfriend.

"We decided not to take a break, just slow things down, until I get through my divorce and I know everything is settled and okay," Gosselin said. "I don't want another failure in my relationships. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made with Kate, with Hailey. I would just be repeating the pattern over again."

Gosselin added that he and Glassman, the daughter of Kate's plastic surgeon, "should never have gone to France" earlier this year.

"Half the stuff I've done, if I look at my moral compass, I shouldn't have done," Gosselin admitted. "I know that but I did it anyway. It's like fame canceled out conviction."

The reality TV star also apologized to his estranged wife.

"I want to apologize to Kate in private," he said. "I'll apologize to her for openly having relationships in the public eye. That was a huge mistake, because if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off. Not because our relationship is over, it's almost like a stab in the back. And now that I think about it, it was a very wrong thing to do. I definitely regret it."

Gosselin's public mea culpa followed his announcement last week that he's seeking counseling from Boteach, an Orthodox rabbi known to counsel a number of celebrities including the late Michael Jackson. It also follows an avalanche of bad press for Gosselin, including his girlfriend's recent allegations that he throws "mantrums" and takes his anger out on her, and his estranged wife's seemingly never ending list of grievances.

Boteach: Gosselin Should Lay Off the Ladies

But Boteach believes Gosselin can be a better man.

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