Former "X Factor" judge and Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger has opened up about a private battle she went through for almost a decade while in her 20s.
Scherzinger, 36, tried not to break down when speaking about her battle with bulimia in an interview with Cosmopolitan UK for its August issue.
“Thinking about it I try not to well up. … It is such a horrible paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me," she told the magazine. "That’s why I can empathize so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves. It robs you of living your life."
She continued, "But you can recover and you can get rid of it forever. I did it and that’s why it’s so important for me to share my story. I felt so alone... but I made myself so alone. You hide it from the world, you isolate yourself. But you can beat it – do not give up because you’re so special and you’re meant for such great things."
The singer said it took failing health for her to get help after suffering from the disease in her 20s.
"I had started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France. I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself,’" she added. "One day when you feel like you’ve reached the end, you just say, ‘I’m not doing this anymore.’
It’s sad to see how I wasted my life. I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world but I was miserable on the inside. I’m never letting that happen again; you only get one life – I was 27 only once."
Scherzinger is healthy and "happy" now, and in a great relationship with British Formula 1 racer Lewis Hamilton.
"Relationships are hard and having to hold a long-distance relationship is even harder. It’s kudos to us for growing and trying – there’s so much love there,” she said. “It’s just the distance, it’s not natural for anyone. But I’m good and I’m happy.”