This ain't no Jersey Shore.
Richard Branson's Necker Island may have looked like the set of "Titanic: Revenge of the Land" earlier this week, when lightning set his $70 million home on fire and Kate Winslet scored heroine status by swooping Branson's 90-year-old mother out of the blaze.
Normally, the scene on the billionaire's private paradise in the Atlantic looks more like "Animal House." According to the UK's Daily Mail, Branson, 61, recently bid a female guest adieu by dropping his pants and baring his rear end as she zipped by in a speedboat. The billionaire Virgin chairman famously arrived at his 1989 Necker Island wedding clinging to the bottom of a helicopter.
Models reportedly frolic with pink flamingos and giant tortoises in the nude. Last call doesn't exist. When you run the island, there are no rules.
"It's a lot of fun and nonstop partying," Tami Watkins, who stayed at Necker Island 15 years ago, told ABCNews.com. "Just about anything goes."
But along with the shenanigans, there's unparalleled style and service. Another guest who visited the island in the 1990s told ABCNews.com that the $20,000 per night price tag paid for "paradise." More than a dozen chefs on staff can cook anything guests desire, and they're briefed on visitors' likes and dislikes before they arrive. Balinese wood and white upholstery lend the place the feel of an Asian oasis. Sixty staff members ensure every need gets met.
Branson bought the uninhabited British Virgin island in 1978 for a reported 180,000 pounds. He commissioned the construction of the "Great House," whose roof burned down Monday, and guest cottages and opened the island as a resort in 1984. In total, 28 people can stay at a time (that's more than a 2:1 ratio of staff to guests), and Branson reportedly spends at least two of the summer months there. When he's not around, those who wish to buy out the place can do so for $56,000 a night.
Even the arrival process bleeds luxury.
"The way you get there is very dramatic," Watkins said. "We flew to Tortola, it's a very third-world type of an airport -- you get off the plane and there's goats and roosters and things like that. You walk to a dock and a boat picks you up to take you to Necker Island. They serve you Cristal Champagne; it's a wonderful way to get your vacation started. On the ride over, it gets closer and closer and finally you reach this paradise."
But everything hasn't always been top-notch. When Watkins visited, the facilities left something to be desired.
"The bathrooms are not as luxurious as a 5-star hotel," she said. "I remember them being pretty small."
The celebrities don't seem to mind. Necker Island's guest list boasts enough star wattage to make most red carpets curl up in shame. The late Princess Diana vacationed there with the young Princes William and Harry. Oprah Winfrey, Kevin Costner, Geena Davis, Robert De Niro, Kate Moss, Nick Lachey, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have all kicked up their feet on the island's pristine beaches. Victoria's Secret descended on the island to shoot its 2010 swimsuit catalog.
Monday's fire put a stop to the perpetual party -- for now. On Tuesday, Branson told ABC's "Good Morning America" that he's determined to rebuild the island's main house in time for his daughter's December wedding.
"It's one of those stories that's ended up happily," he said. "We will rebuild the house and make it even better than it was before and we'll have many more wonderful memories of the future."
Perhaps bigger bathrooms, too.