"We're talking about a disaster, and not of the fun Showgirls variety, either."
— Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle
"A dull disaster." — Ty Burr, Boston Globe
"From the moment Affleck declares that in every relationship 'there's a bull and a cow,' [he and Lopez] make hideous chin music together."
— Michael Sragow, Baltimore Sun
"In this relationship, there is also a turkey."
— Jami Bernard, New York Daily News
"It's Chasing Amy with guns."
— Desson Howe, The Washington Post
"So god-awfully, soul-destroyingly bad it manages to offend lesbians, the mentally challenged and straight people in a single bound, not to mention the entire acting profession."
— Eye Weekly
"Like Madonna in … The Next Best Thing, [Lopez] gets to show off her yoga moves and toned muscles … but even her remarkable sex appeal isn't enough to distract you from the idiocies coming out of her mouth."
— Jonathan Foreman, New York Post
"It's not as bad as Madonna's last movie — or any of Madonna's movies, for that matter." — Joel Siegel, Good Morning America