Show Business Commentary: Heidi Oringer

Aug. 16 -- Oh brother! I’m wondering what little Lola — aka Lourdes Ciccone Leon — must have said when mama Madonna produced a little brother for her — and named him Rocco Ritchie.

Madonna gave birth to the bambino on Aug. 11. Congratulations are due to mommy and daddy Guy Ritchie, but what the devil was she thinking — naming her kid after a potential member of the Sopranos cast?!?

Sure, realistically speaking, you can call your kids whatever you want. After all, they’re your kids. You give birth to them, adopt them, raise them, pay for them, so you do have the right to tag ’em up as you see fit. But c’mon — that kid has to live with the label you’ve chosen for him for the rest of his days.

Or do they?

Zowie, It’s a Bowie!

Take for instance David Bowie’s first child, named Zowie. (Why would they do this to him? They obviously ran out of Scrabble letters.) The boy, born in 1971, has gone through a throng of names. Apparently not too happy with mom and dad’s first choice, he has, in recent years, settled on “Duncan.” (And not as in Hines, ’cause life as a Bowie surely isn’t a piece of cake!)

Mr. Bowie (né David Jones) and his second wife, supermodel Iman, have just had their first child together. They have bestowed upon the little darling the name Alexandria Zahra Jones. This is rather staid based on Zowie and Zulekah, which is the name of Iman’s daughter from a previous marriage. (I know, I know, I know … Iman is Somali and these names have meaning.)

One could go the way of the Zappas: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan and Diva. These handles cannot be explained by religious affiliation or ethnic background. They apparently just struck the fancy of Mr. and Mrs. Zappa. Unusual fancy, yes, but then Frank Zappa was hardly conventional.

This might lead one to think that using odd monikers is a tendency limited to out-there rock stars or at least the musically inclined, but that is not so.