Know what's not funny? When a late-night comic uses his monologue to tell the world that he had sex with multiple staffers and forked over a bogus $2 million check as part of an extortion plot over the whole mess. That's not the kind of material most people want to hear from David Letterman. Resolution: Leave the extramarital affairs and extortion plots backstage; bring the funny when the cameras start rolling.
To be fair, Lindsay Lohan's been on the up and up in recent months. While she floundered after her breakup from Samantha Ronson earlier this year, now Lohan's reportedly dating a new guy, Gucci model Adam Senn. She's also expanding her 6126 leggings brand into a full-fledged fashion line, an endeavor that ought to keep her out of the clubs and at work. Resolution: focus on the fashion project and staying stable; ignore those trying to stir up trouble, even if -- especially if -- they're members of your own family.
Way back in January 2009, Jessica Simpson made the fashion faux pas heard 'round the world. She donned a pair of high-waist jeans and a large leopard print belt at a chili cook off, triggering critics to foam at the mouth with insults about her apparent weight gain and lack of wardrobe sense. But Simpson turned extra pounds into extra cash when she signed on to headline VH1's upcoming reality series, "The Price of Beauty," which will follow her as she travels the world in search of what people find beautiful and why. Smooth move, Simpson. Resolution: Stay savvy, but avoid the high-waist and animal-print trends this year. No negative press is good press.
Yeah, Kanye West has an attitude. That helped him get to the top of the rap game. But his confidence got the better of him at September's MTV Video Music Awards, when he crashed Taylor Swift's Best Female Video acceptance speech to say that "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time." 'Ye has since made amends, apologizing privately and publicly to Swift and stepping back from the spotlight to get his mind right. He's on the right track and poised to be better than ever in 2010. Resolution: Pour the controversy into a rhyme and drop a track that turns all the naysayers into 'Ye-sayers.
She's sexy and smart. Her fashion's irreverent and incomparable. Her music's unexpected and unparalleled. Resolution: Lady Gaga, don't change a thing.