Colbert: 'I Am America'

Comedian and faux conservative commentator Stephen Colbert has sustained a legion of fans thanks to his unique political interpretations.

On his hit Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report," he often uses sarcasm to poke fun at Republicans and Democrats.

Viewers know he doesn't read and would much rather go with his gut when making decisions. An avid patriot, Colbert aims to inform Americans by outwardly taunting them with his misinformation. It's formula that's ignited his career from his "Daily Show" beginnings to his new book, "I Am America (and So Can You!)"

Check out an excerpt of the book, with Colbert's signature style.

INTRODUCTION

I AM NO FAN OF BOOKS. AND CHANCES ARE, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU AND I SHARE A HEALTHY SKEPTICISM ABOUT THE PRINTED WORD. WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS IS THE FIRST BOOK I'VE EVER WRITTEN, AND I HOPE IT'S THE FIRST BOOK YOU'VE EVER READ. DON'T MAKE A HABIT OF IT.

How many American Flags can you find in this paragraph?

Now, you might ask yourself, if by yourself you mean me, "Stephen, if you don't like books, why did you write one?" You just asked yourself a trick question. I didn't write it. I dictated it. I shouted it into a tape recorder over the Columbus Day weekend, then handed it to my agent and said, "Sell this." He's the one who turned it into a book. It's his funeral. But I get your "drift." Why even dictate? Well, like a lot of other dictators, there is one man's opinion I value above all others. Mine. And folks, I have a lot of opinions. I'm like Lucy trying to keep up with the candy at the chocolate factory. I can barely put them in my mouth fast enough. - In fact, I have so many opinions, I have overwhelmed my ability to document myself. I thought my nightly broadcast, The Colbert Report (check your local listings), would pick up some of the slack. But here's the dirty little secret. When the cameras go off, I'm still talking. And right now all that opinion is going to waste, like seed on barren ground. Well no more. It's time to impregnate this country with my mind.