Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru Top 20 Finalists: Alan Fleischmann

Nov. 26, 2010 — -- Alan Fleischmann from Chevy Chase, Md., is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read his application below!

EssayI knew I had a gift for giving advice and listening when I went to see a grief therapist after my mother died. The grief therapist ended up on the couch, thanking me profusely for helping her cope with the loss of her mother. While I was paying for the session, I realized that my greatest contribution to this world might be my ability to step into other people's shoes, listen and talk directly. Growing up in Baltimore as the third child of a transplanted, New York fashion designer and refugee turned war veteran turned lawyer, I learned at an early age that the only way to be heard was to listen, be funny, and have the gumption to say what others are afraid to say. I also developed a unique ability to connect with people, be comfortable in any setting with any person, and make any person comfortable talking to me -- qualities that have served me well as I have traversed politics, from president (and valedictorian) of the school at American University to NAFTA negotiations to the Kennedys and to Obama's Transition Team; advised global CEO's with the Albright Stonebridge Group; co-founded a non-profit to create opportunities for young entrepreneurs; lived overseas with extended family in Argentina, and managed a line of kindergarteners for a moon bounce at my daughter's birthday party. I have learned how to navigate complicated relationships, how to listen with my eyes and ears, ask the right questions, argue any point from any perspective and advise on peace negotiations at home, at work and in life. I would proudly say, however, that perhaps my greatest accomplishment, aside from losing 50 pounds, and what makes me ideally suited for giving advice, is being a great friend and dad."

What's the best advice you have ever given? What was the result?

Ask questions! We simply assume too much "My husband does not listen to me, myboss is angry with me, my bank is offering me the best rate." We make judgmentsbefore understanding the real issues at hand. Recently, my 85-year-old father had toundergo a high-risk hip replacement after the same radiation that cured his prostatecancer, destroyed the bones in his hip. We had an A-team of doctors. My Dad asked forhelp as he was signing off on general anaesthesia -- "Am I doing the right thing?"I took my own advice and began asking questions, discovered that an inadvertent mentionof a medication by my father led to the suggestion of general anaesthesia, which he wouldhave likely not survived. After a stellar performance in surgery with a regional anaesthetic,he is out and about, walking (with a cane) and free of pain.