Review: A Complete 'Failure to Launch'

March 9, 2006 — -- "Failure to Launch?" Is that the title or my review? Answer: Yes!

Come on. Who is going to believe Matthew McConaughey as a 35-year-old who is still living at home? His parents (Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw) are too dysfunctional to tell him, "It's not right to make your mother cook your meals and do your laundry. We love you, but it's time."

Had they, McConaughey would've said, "Sure," and the movie would've been over in two minutes. And I think audiences would've been less angry if they had spent $8 seeing that movie in two minutes. Instead, they have to sit through all two hours of this one.

Bradshaw and Bates hire Sarah Jessica Parker, who calls herself a "life interventionist." Parker specializes in getting guys who live at home to fall in love with her, and then move out. We've been to the movies. We know the two stars will fall in love with each other and eventually move in.

Another problem: A romantic comedy needs two stars who can get laughs. Parker can and does. In one scene, McConaughey entertains Parker on what she thinks is his sailboat, and they're interrupted by the guy who really owns the boat. It reads funny, but doesn't play that way.

When the rest of us were developing our senses of humor, McConaughey was doing crunches, developing his abs instead. (Grade: D)

"The Shaggy Dog" does have two stars who can play funny. Tim Allen and Coal, the border collie. All the pleasures from this film come from watching Coal and Allen do stupid pet tricks. Unfortunately the convoluted premise here, impossible for kids or their parents to follow, won't have you sitting up and begging for more.

"Shaggy Dog" is a family film for young kids. But after an Oscars race that highlighted serious films with real substance and great performances, to go to Tim Allen chasing cars on all fours, it's a tough week at the movies. (Grade: C+)