Attempt to Reunite With Son Given Up for Adoption Brings Frustration

Photo: Science Reveals Son Is Not Their Own

For more than 30 years, Ron Ryba wondered about the baby boy he and his high school sweetheart had given away.

The year was 1975. Ryba played running back on the football team at Shawnee High School in in Medford, N.J., while his girlfriend, Kathy Butler, cheered for him on the sidelines. Ryba said the two were "very much" in love.

But the lovebirds faced a difficult decision: 16-year-old Kathy was pregnant. Given their age, the couple believed they could not give the child with the upbringing he deserved.

"At that time, being 16 years old and scared and not sure what to do, we turned to our faith," Ryba said.

VIDEO: A father looks for a child that it gave up for adoption years ago.
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The couple decided to give up the baby boy for adoption through Catholic Charities of Trenton, N.J.

It was an agonizing decision, especially for young Ryba, and he wrote a letter to the adoptive parents, describing the reason behind his decision.

"The only thing I could give him would be my true love," he wrote. "But he also needs two parents together and a good home."

Son Never Far From Father's Thoughts

The baby was born Nov. 25, 1975, and soon after was adopted by a loving family, who named him Philip.

As the years passed, Ryba said he thought about the child constantly. Was he well-cared for? Did he have loving adoptive parents? What did the boy know of his birth parents, Ron and Kathy?

"I wanted him to know that he was born out of love, and I had given him up as a gift," Ryba said.

Ryba stayed in contact with Catholic Charities caseworkers, who assured him the baby was doing well. In 1993, Ryba received a file about his son, detailing the child's development through the years -- even noting Philip's first words and first teeth. Ryba, who now had another son and a daughter, told the agency repeatedly he wanted to meet Philip.

"When you have your own children, your bonds, your thoughts ... and I go back ... and you know there's a piece missing," Ryba said.

Joy of Reunion, Then Shock of DNA Results

But it was not until 2004 that those pieces would begin to come together.

Phil, who asked ABC News to withhold his last name, was 30 years old and at last ready to meet his biological parents.

At first Ryba and Phil exchanged letters and e-mail through Catholic Charities, but a year later Ryba planned the ultimate father-son reunion: a Philadelphia Phillies baseball game.

The two met -- and bonded immediately.

"It was awesome," Phil said. "And everything felt really natural and really good."

For Ryba, the meeting gave him peace after years of anguish.

"Because for me, the journey I took was a lot of pain. A lot that I went through, shame as a 16-year-old," he said. "So I thought that meeting and seeing this guy who had a great life and loving parents and was a balance. My pain was his joy."

Phil said the two barely watched the game on the field, instead spending hours talking and learning about one another. Phil said his childhood was a happy one, and said that while growing up, he was told about the couple he believed were his birth parents.

"I got a little background on Ron and a little background on my birth mother. Their story was nice. It was comforting, but it just wasn't my story," Phil said.

Indeed, that story would unravel three years after their reunion. In the time since their meeting, the two men grew close, so close that Ryba decided to add Phil to his will. Ryba's lawyer insisted that he, Kathy Butler and Phil each take a DNA test. The results were stunning.

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