Bride's Guide: Q&A for the Big Day

April 29, 2010— -- I always cry at weddings.

Whether it's the marriage of a dear friend or family member or someone I don't know well at all, I'm guaranteed to cry during the ceremony when the couple exchanges vows. I'm also guaranteed to cry during any speeches or toasts at the reception. I think the only time I didn't cry during a wedding toast was when I gave one at my sister's wedding, and that's only because my fear of speaking in front of a crowd was more powerful than my emotions about the moment.

In her "Wedding Book," celebrity wedding planner Mindy Weiss writes that "toasts are one of the highlights of the wedding."

The traditional best man's toast is still the staple speech at most weddings, but these days there are usually also speeches or toasts from parents, the maid of honor and the bride and groom.

So how do you decide who should speak, and when? And should you talk to them about what they'll say beforehand?

Weiss says that you shouldn't have everyone in your wedding party give a toast.

"Too many can bog down a wedding," she writes in "The Wedding Book." "So can toasts that go on and on."

No toast should last more than five minutes, she says.

Mindy suggests having the bride's parents welcome the guests as the first course is served and then invite up the groom's parents if desired.

The best man, she says, should give his toast "toward the end of the first course or during the second course," followed by the maid of honor if you choose to have her speak.

As for the bride and groom, she recommends that they speak at the cake cutting.