Can Women Get Ahead by Being Nice?

July 16 -- Women occupy about 12 percent of the executive offices of America, and most of them got there by being tough, forceful and direct.

But, a corporate coaching program called "Bully Broads" featured in the latest issue of Elle magazine is teaching these tough women to get ahead by being nice.

"The very characteristics that help me get where I was at were now holding me back from executive level positions," said one participant, Deborah. "My passion to do a great job was driving others to be so afraid of me."

Others were so afraid of her, that Deborah's boss sent her to Silicon Valley executive coach Jean Hollands, who founded "Bully Broads," and counts Intel, Hewlett-Packard and Lockheed-Martin among her clients. Deborah wasn't the only one being sent to the corporate trainer for anti-assertiveness training.

"My boss said 'I want you to talk to Jean Hollands, she has this thing it's called Bully Broads'," said another participant, Karen. "And I was like, 'I'm not a bully. I'm not a bully. I'm so nice. I care about people — the people that do their work.'"

The Work Rules

It is that "take no prisoners" attitude that Hollands says she tries to fine tune, with rules like "Don't Judge — Enjoy" and "Down Girl — You Don't Need to Confront at Every Turn." She also advises participants to smile, use softer voices, and self-deprecation or stammering when speaking.

The goal behind all the niceties: boosting productivity. It is difficult to produce if others do not want to work with you, Hollands says. Their bosses are insecure around them, and colleagues will not cooperate. Bully broads get no cooperation from their fellow workers, and end up working solo, and becoming tired and despondent because of it.

Instead Hollands suggests taking a number of steps: talking slowly so other people can listen and respond, giving feedback to others and even walking slowly so people don't feel bowled over. She even tells women they should feel comfortable crying at work, because that is passion for your work coming out.