Anita Renfroe's Thanks to Spanx

Comedian Anita Renfroe, who made an Internet splash with "William Tell Momsense," a song about motherhood, is now a special "Good Morning America" contributor addressing issues important to all women — like hair.

In upcoming segments, she'll discuss crucial topics such as what your purse says about you, grocery store games, mammograms, whatever happened to pantyhose and much more.

But she also wants to hear from you. What do you want to see Anita talk about? Nothing is off limits. Send her your ideas, your pet peeves about being a woman, things that make you laugh, anything! You can post your comments right here on this story.

Oct. 2, 2008

From the moment womankind discovered mirrors We've wondered if our clothes made us look fat
For most of us the truth could not be clearer
Our figures just will never be all that
Our grandmamas were coerced into corsets
A tortuous device some man designed
Then grandmas and our moms got into girdles
In hopes that they'd improve their bottom lines.

But we're smarter women now — we need our comfort
And we refuse to suck our stomachs in all day
We want maximum control with zero effort

Anita Renfroe

So with gratitude we women now can say

Thanks to Spanx … we've got no panty lines
You firm up … our less-than-firm behinds
You smooth out all the rolls in our bread baskets
You help us make the most of all our assets

Thanks to Spanx … you make our tight jeans fit
Cellulite can't jiggle in your powerful knit
We can't contain our muffin tops without you
We can't stop telling all our friends about you
For all you've done to save a woman's self-esteem
To hide our second helpings of hot fudge ice cream
We're grateful that you smooth out everything we wear
Every day you're there to save our derrieres
You help us make the very most of what we've got Spanx a lot, spanx a lot, spanx a lot!

Aug. 14, 2008

There's real skill and strategy involved in the Grocery Store Games.

First of all, you want to park in the coveted spot near the cart corral. And why, by the way, do they call it the cart corral? Is it like we're in some sort of spaghetti western and there's going be showdown at high noon at the cart corral and I'm going to need to bring my salad shooter? And if you get a cart that has all four wheels that go the same direction it's like you've won the grocery cart lottery.

They now have these things called kiddy carts. I can guarantee you that this was made up by a mom who was tired of her kids throwing things in the basket while she wasn't looking.

At the Grocery Store Games, you have to navigate a bunch of specialty departments, where I believe they hire people according to personality. Take here in the deli. The people who work here are the ones who weren't afraid to take shop in high school, they actually enjoy the heavy dangerous equipment.

And what about these people who work in the bakery? Don't they seem suspiciously happy to you? I mean, wouldn't you be happy too if you had unlimited access to tubes of icing and lots of powdered sugar all day?

And what about the people who work in the produce section? I mean, they seem fairly nice, but i think they have a little sadistic edge. I believe they go in the back and they wait until a woman comes along who's obviously just been to the salon and boom! Make it rain.

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