Stay-at-Home Dads Defy Stereotypes

June 19, 2005 — -- Scott Durkin has been a stay-at-home dad for almost four years now -- and though being an at-home parent has its challenges, he wouldn't change a thing.

"I don't miss anything from working," Durkin said. "I think if I knew then what I know now, I would have said, 'When I grow up, I want to be a stay-at-home dad.' "

There are 98,000 stay-at-home fathers across the country, according to the latest figures from the U.S. Census Bureau. And according to a recent survey by Careerbuilder.com, nearly half of the men surveyed said they would stay at home with their kids if they could.

Durkin's wife, Helen, a lawyer, admits she was a little nervous about their decision.

"I said, 'Scott, are you going to be able to do this?' " she said. "Because I have all those stereotypes running through my mind, sort of the 'Mr. Mom' movie, like the vacuum cleaner is going to be chasing him, and the kids are going to be running around screaming."

But Durkin has excelled in the role. He and other dads like him are breaking down stereotypes about parenting roles. Not only are they capable, most say they are comfortable with their roles.

But it's not always easy, and there still are stigmas attached to being a stay-at-home dad.

Kurt Schrammel said the biggest misconception he faces as a stay-at-home dad is the belief of some that he doesn't know what he's doing.

"Stay-home dads are inept, they're clumsy, they don't know how to change a diaper, they don't know how to take their kids out in a stroller," Schrammel said, ticking off some of the misconceptions he's heard before. "Those are all things I'm comfortable with and [have] been doing for two years."

At a weekly meeting for stay-at-home dads, the men get a chance to share their experiences, something they say keeps them focused and grounded in their fatherhood roles.

But for most stay-at-home dads, it's the small moments with their children that makes it worthwhile.