When Cancer Hits Home -- Who Cares for the Caregivers?

March 27, 2007 — -- "When I was being treated for cancer, my room was filled with get well cards and stuffed pink animals," said 59-year-old Denver cancer survivor Lynda Larsen. "But not one person sent a thank-you note to my husband, Steve, and he endured as much stress as I did."

The role of cancer caregivers, typically a husband or wife, is often overshadowed by the plight of the cancer survivor. After all, the cancer is in many cases a life-threatening event. But for those who have to hold down a job, take care of the kids and provide assistance to a loved one dealing with chemotherapy, surgery and radiation treatments, the challenge to keep it all together can be overwhelming.

"I've spoken to many women whose husbands simply leave them," said Larsen, who is a fifth-generation breast cancer survivor.

"They can't handle it and simply give up."

Larsen's husband, who owns and manages a Denver-area coffee roasting company, admits it isn't easy. "I won't be dishonest. I'd rather have her the way she was," he said. "But I would never even think of leaving her."

Larsen was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer in August 2005 and began treatment within days of her diagnosis. She had 14 lymph nodes removed and two radical mastectomies. She was treated with chemotherapy and radiation. "I was pretty far gone," she said. But she credits her family -- especially her husband -- for helping her maintain her will to live.

"My husband is absolutely the reason I survived. He is a very positive caregiver. I had a super support system, and that's critical," she said.

"But it was an enormous struggle for my husband."

Steve Larsen agreed. "There's some nastiness involved in taking care of someone being treated for cancer. The tubes, the lack of mobility, the bodily waste issues all have to be dealt with. But you have to suck it up and do some nasty jobs," he said.

The strain also took a toll on managing his company, Café Cartago. "There's a lot of time away from work," he said. "I was with her in surgery. I took care of her basic needs at home. You have to juggle a lot while providing that care and holding down a job. I run my own company, and I have people looking up to me for leadership and direction. You have to do double duty, and that creates a lot of stress. But it's not as trying as what Lynda was facing. She's involved in a life and death situation."