Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down: Pain for Pleasure

May 9, 2005 -- -- "Nurse Nasty," "Wicked Doctor," "The Prison Matron" ... not the usual way to introduce yourself, but in the leather-clad world of sadomasochism, naughty is nice.

And pain is pleasure.

"I need stimulation and get a terrific high from playing rough," said Allena Gabosch, 52, a Seattle-based "bottom," meaning she's the one on the receiving end of spanking. The buxom, tattooed, alternative sex activist finds pain play very seductive but, "I still ask for Novocain at the dentist's office."

While most couples don't need whips, paddles or ropes to get in the mood, a minority find sadomasochism, or S&M, erotic. They like to explore the fine line between pain and pleasure to escape from reality, test their endurance, experience a spiritual high or simply to act out fantasies and fears.

The pain can be real, but the goal isn't injury or broken bones. And despite the early belief that smacks in the sack led to mental illness, psychologists say that S&M practitioners are just as well-adjusted as the average person.

Sex or lovemaking is about feeling good, so what feels good about pain?

"People clearly want fictionalized pain for attention and symbolic effect," said Roy Baumeister, professor of psychology at Florida State University and author of "Masochism and the Self." S&M helps people temporarily lose their normal identity and focus on the flashes of pain, he said.

Baumeister described S&M pain as separated from its biological function. "It's no longer about warning you of injury, it's about escaping yourself."

There are two sides of S&M, explained Dossie Easton, a licensed marriage therapist and S&M practitioner based in San Francisco. "On one side, you have the physical aspect with unusual and intense simulations which includes bondage, sensory deprivation and highly selected pain. On the other, it's about bringing fantasies into reality by playing power games for fun," she said.

The essential component of S&M is not the pain or bondage itself, but rather the role-playing involved. One person plays powerless, the "bottom," and the other person plays all-powerful, the "top."