Does 'Revenge Cheating' Work?

March 20, 2008— -- On Tuesday, one day after being sworn into office, New York Gov. David Paterson and his wife Michelle appeared before the press to defuse the issue of their past infidelity to one another.

"I betrayed a commitment to my wife several years ago, and I do not feel I've betrayed my commitment to the citizens of New York state," Paterson said during the press conference. "I haven't broken any laws, I don't think I've violated my oath of office, and I saw this as a private matter."

But Paterson also noted that his affairs occurred at a time when he "was jealous over Michelle," suggesting that her infidelity was part of the reason for his actions.

Paterson later backed off from this comment. However, if the pattern of behavior seen in the Paterson's marriage was indeed a case of retaliatory infidelity — also known as "revenge cheating" — it would not be the first high-profile example of this behavior.

In February, actress Valerie Bertinelli revealed on the "Oprah Winfrey Show" that she had cheated on rocker husband Eddie Van Halen during their marriage as revenge for his infidelity toward her. After a 21-year marriage, the couple split in 2002.

The phenomenon of revenge cheating was also recently parodied in the late-night television battle between comedienne Sarah Silverman and her talk-show host boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel. While Silverman "admitted" to an affair with actor Matt Damon in a music video on Kimmel's show, Kimmel later fired his own comedic salvo by presenting a star-studded production centered around his supposed tryst with actor Ben Affleck.

But in most cases, retaliatory infidelity is no laughing matter. And relationship experts agree that revenge cheating usually does much more harm to a relationship than good.

"There are no studies that I know of in this area," said William J. Doherty, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota. "But my impression is that tit-for-tat affairs are not uncommon in conflicted, volatile relationships where spouses punish each other in a variety of ways, such as hitting, spending sprees, destroying each other's property, moving out, and affairs,"