Mother-in-Law Carolyn Bourne's Nasty Email Goes Viral; Brits Boycott Her

Carolyn Bourne slammed son's future bride for bad manners.

ByABC News
July 1, 2011, 10:28 AM

July 1, 2011— -- She has been called Momzilla, the British mother-of-the-groom who sent a scathing e-mail to her future daughter-in-law after the bride-to-be committed a few social faux pas during a weekend visit to her country home.

Carolyn Bourne, 60, sent shock waves across the Atlantic after she chastised her son's fiancee, Heidi Withers, for "rude behavior" that apparently included sleeping late, asking for seconds at the dinner table and bad-mouthing the future in-laws at the local pub.

Bourne teed off on Withers for being what Brits might call "a little madam," demanding the family cater to her needs and exhibiting "uncouthness" and "lack of manners."

Read Bourne's full-text e-mail.

She even suggested that Withers consider finishing school to polish up her savoir faire. "It's high time someone explained to you about good manners," Bourne wrote. "Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you."

Withers, 29, is a production assistant in London and was so upset that she sent the nasty note to her friends. The story soon went viral and has dominated the British media for days.

Now, an online group is urging people to boycott Bourne's family-owned flower shop, Whetman Pinks Nursery, in the southwestern coastal town of Dawlish in Devon.

"If Mrs. Bourne apologizes, we will remove the boycott," wrote the group, Universally Aware. "We are here to raise the consciousness of all people."

Bourne's e-mail went on to say it was "unfortunate" that her son Freddie, who runs a bicycle shop, had fallen for Withers.

"Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you," she wrote. "It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so ... One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

"No one gets married in a castle unless they own it," Bourne wrote. "It is brash, celebrity-style behavior. I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)"

Withers' father, Alan Withers, 64, has even weighed in, lambasting Bourne's "lack of grace." He told the Sun newspaper, "I think she has her head stuck so far up her own a** she doesn't know whether to speak or fart. Heidi was very upset and the two of them obviously don't see eye to eye."

He and his wife, Sylvia, were laid off from a nursing agency in January.

"I met Carolyn and her husband Edward for dinner at a pub in London last year," he told the Sun. "Edward [her husband] was a jovial chap but Carolyn was quite snotty. She had a look about her which made us think she thought she was better than us. ... Ever since that meeting we call her 'Miss Fancy Pants.'"

He claims Bourne sent the e-mail twice -- once to Withers' personal account and then to her work e-mail. When she asked her father what to do, he replied, "I told her the best thing to do was not respond to it at all and take the moral high ground."

Bourne, who manages a large nursery and is known for her prize-winning flowers, did not return calls from ABCNews.com. To the British press, she said, "I have nothing to say."

Nor did her son, Freddie, who works at Capital Cycles in Putney. Neither Withers, nor her sister, September Withers, could be reached.

Americans were horrified by Bourne's own bad behavior.

"Whoa, what a bitch," said Catherine Drake of Allentown, N.J., who is only a month away from her own daughter's wedding. "It's really sad that everybody has lost such perspective here. It's the wedding process that can make that happen.

"The huge mistake was that this woman put it in writing," said Drake, who admitted both sides in the wedding party think ill thoughts from time to time.