Slow Sex Practice Promises Female Orgasm in 15 Minutes

PHOTO: Slow Sex Orgasm allows women to stay in an aroused state for life.PlayCourtesy of Grand Central Publishing
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Meditation slows the heart rate, stops the brain chatter and is good for the spiritual soul. And now, at least according to one new book, it can bring women to orgasm.

Nicole Daedone, an ardent San Francisco feminist and author of "Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm," said that "in just 15 minutes, a woman can become orgasmic."

Unlike tantric sex, which she says is "radically different," slow sex uses meditation techniques like mindfulness and focusing on sensitivity and pleasure. In the book, she offers detailed drawings and variations to accommodate same-sex partners.

The woman lies still as her partner -- fully clothed and with the lights on -- "puts all of his attention" on her, according to Daedone, stroking her erogenous zone "not any more more firmly than an eyelid."

The woman concentrates "mindfully" on what she feels without the "running narrative" of to-do lists and the man focuses on pleasuring her.

When practiced three to five times a week in a technique she calls "orgasmic meditation," women can experience her version of an orgasm -- not the male model that eludes 1 in 10 women, but a slower, subtler sensuality that can create intimacy between partners and allow a woman to carry desire inside throughout her life.

"Orgasm is the body's ability to receive and respond to pleasure - pure and simple," said Daedone, 43, who had led the call for slow sex for the last decade through her One Taste organization. "Climax is often a part of orgasm, but it is not the sum total."

That does seem like a a lot of work for the man, but Daedone, who coaches couples, insists, "I never had a guy resist. Only women ask me that question."

Though some women may reach a conventional climax for the first time using orgasmic meditation, many will not, she said. But all will experience the tell-tale signs: flushed cheeks, genital swelling and contractions.

"It's not a panacea, but what I see is increased reporting of high satisfaction of life overall," said Daedone. "When a woman is turned on and genuinely happy, it is incredibly attractive to other people in the room."

Some studies, those mostly funded by the pharmaceutical industry looking for the new female Viagra, show that 40 million American women have no interest in sex.

Daedone said the problem isn't that women don't want sex, they just want a different kind of sex.

For women who are under constant pressure, caring for their families and managing careers, taking time out for self-pleasure in itself is rewarding. "But it has to be bound in a practice and for a confined period of time," Daedone said.

"It's a radical move for women to take time out, but they are making a decision to begin the step into well-being," she said.

Her own journey started as a graduate student in gender studies at San Francisco State College when Daedone asked her female students what they wanted to know about sex. Their responses astounded her; "Every single one came back, 'What's wrong with me?'"

"That stayed with me," she said. "The questions kept churning inside me."

She learned about orgasmic meditation after meeting a man at a California Zen center who offered to demonstrate slow sex.

Though Daedone had experienced plenty of conventional climaxes, she discovered that orgasmic meditation "had literally touched a hunger inside me," she said. "I had had a surface climax, but never deep into my soul."

Since then thousands have attended her workshops on the technique to experience a deeper spiritual and physical connection during sex.

Climax is 'Neither Here Nor There'

Kelly Notaras, the book's editor and a slow sex practitioner herself, said the technique had been "life-changing."

"It changed the way I viewed myself," said Notaras, 35. "I thought I was not a sexual person and now I realize every woman has capacity for pleasure and sex."

Orgasmic meditation "takes the goal out of sex," she said. "There is no requirement to have a climax. The man and the woman connect in a way that is very relaxing and easy and simple for her...All she has to do is lie back and receive."

The climax is, "neither here nor there," said Notaras.

Applying the practice can keep women in a continuous state of orgasm, for months, according to the book.

"We are taking the idea of orgasm and expanding it," she said. 'Orgasm is what drives our lives. When we actually put our desire at the forefront, life becomes orgasmic."

Using "mindfulness" to elicit pleasure, is grounded in science.

Barry R. Komisaruk, a neuroscientist and associate dean of the graduate school at Rutgers University, has studied the mechanism of orgasm and said it is a powerful pain blocker.

"Using lab animals, we found that a number of different chemicals in the spinal chord and the brain all work together to block pain," he said.

He also discovered that sensation during orgasm affects multiple parts of both hemispheres of the brain, including the pleasure center.

Historically, researchers have speculated that the contractions of the uterus during orgasm help draw semen into the fallopian tubes to facilitate fertilization or that it is important for release of tension. In fact, the body releases powerful endorphins during orgasm.

In his 2006 book, "The Science of Orgasm," Komisaruk suggests "the most important one is extreme pleasure and I think it probably has an important role in mate selection."

Orgasm is "reinforcing and rewarding, he said. "Orgasm is not necessary for pregnancy. Like many biological systems, it' not essential.

His studies show that many women can achieve orgasm without any stimulation, purely by thinking. "They see erotic imagery or energy curing through their body," he said.

As for theories that orgasmic meditation that can last for months, Komisaruk said, "What Daedone calls orgasm is what most people would call pleasure and bliss; what most people call orgasm is what Daedone calls climax."

Still, he said, 'It can't hurt."