Children of Alcoholics Forced Into Adulthood

"What is your emergency?" asked the 911 operator. The little boy replied, "My mom is making me blow air into her interlock."

The Albuquerque, N.M., youngster was asked to help his mother break the law and blow into her ignition interlock device to start the car. Police responded to the call this week and charged 30-year-old Genevieve Sullivan with violating her probation for drunken driving.

The 11-year-old walked a fine emotional line: He told operators he was afraid his mother would hear him and he'd get in trouble. But he was even more afraid of the consequences should his mother drive drunk.

Experts say children of alcoholics bear a heavy psychological burden for the sins of their parents. They are forced into adulthood early and spend much of their growing up years protecting themselves and their families.

null

"He knew at 11," said New York state psychologist Pat O'Gorman, who isn't involved with the New Mexico case. "He knew his mother was in trouble. He knew she needed help, and he knew he could provide that help."

According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, nearly 14 million Americans are considered problem drinkers and 76 million are exposed to alcoholism in family settings.

Studies suggest about one in four children in the United States is exposed to alcohol abuse or dependence sometime before the age of 18, according to the Children of Alcoholics Foundation.

Life Is Chaotic, Unpredictable

"Many of the popular portrayals of children of alcoholics are clearly overgeneralizations and have the potential to be harmful," said Dr. Oscar Bukstein, a psychiatrist at Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic in Pennsylvania. "However, many grow up too soon and attempt to act as parents while their parents' alcoholism renders them childlike."

null

Living with an alcoholic parent can be chaotic and unpredictable. Children can feel confused, insecure and blame themselves for a parent's drinking. Few realize they cannot "cure" their parent's problem.

"If a parent, no matter how loving or well-intentioned, is in a stuck behavior, they are distracted and preoccupied and often impatient and frequently totally insensitive to the needs of the child," said David Deitch, chief clinical officer for Phoenix House, which runs treatment programs for addiction.

Research shows parental substance abuse interrupts a child's normal development and cognition. They are also more likely to become alcoholics themselves.

These children deal with a range of unresolved emotions: guilt, anxiety, embarrassment, confusion and anger. Many later fail to develop intimate relationships and later experience depression, anxiety, eating disorders and suicide attempts.

Some children keep their rooms clean, get good grades and avoid fights with their siblings in the hopes that they won't cause their parents to drink. Others withdraw, hoping not to create any disturbance that encourages the drinking.

Such was the case in the home of a Utah mother of five, Lisa Berry, who started drinking to "go along with" her alcoholic and physically abusive husband.

Berry's son Jobee, now a 19-year-old honors student, barely escaped his home life alive. His drunken father once took him on a high-speed chase with police in hot pursuit and calmly called his mother.

'I Could Hear Cop Sirens'

"Tell your dad to pull over," Berry said she told him. "Tell your dad to let you out, he's always driving drunk."

Page
  • 1
  • |
  • 2
  • |
  • 3
null
Join the Discussion
You are using an outdated version of Internet Explorer. Please click here to upgrade your browser in order to comment.
blog comments powered by Disqus
 
You Might Also Like...