An Open Letter to Camilla Parker Bowles

— -- To: Mrs. Camilla Parker Bowles, c/o Clarence House, London, England

Dear Camilla,

I know it's bad form to address you by your Christian name when we've never formally met. But "Mrs. Parker Bowles" seems so formal. After all, I've read so much about you (and of course listened to that saucy "Camillagate" tape) that I feel I know you. At least well enough for a little woman-to-woman chat.