Royal Red Carpet is Path to White House

When it comes to picking the winner in the American presidential race, Britain’s leading chroniclers of royal ancestors say they’ve never been wrong — not once in almost 200 years.

Based on facts gleaned from the old scrolls and dusty archives of Burke’s Peerage — researchers of royal bloodlines since 1826 — the Brits wager it will be Texas Gov. George W. Bush.

“The presidential candidate with the most royal genes and chromosomes has, up to now, always won the White House,” say the researchers at Burke’s Peerage.

They say Bush’s blue blood runs thicker than Vice President Al Gore’s. In fact it trumps the royal ties of every other president to date, including his father’s. It seems George W. has inherited his mother’s deep blue blood-line.

His Royal Highness, King Dubya

Burke’s publishing director, Harold Brooks-Baker says Bush’s royal connections are startling.

“[Bush] is closely related to every European Monarch both on and off the throne,” says Brooks-Baker.

Some of the governor’s royal kin include Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II, the Queen Mother, Dutchess Sarah “Fergy” Ferguson and even the late Princess Diana.

His most prominent ancestor may be England’s King Charles II, who shared the governor’s vision of a strong military.

Going back nearly 1000 years, Brooks-Baker points out both the Bush and Pierce families [Barbara Bush’s maiden name is Pierce] were high society.

“Not one member of his family was working class, middle class, or even middle, middle class,” he notes.

Al’s Family Hardly Peasants

Gore’s family members weren’t exactly peasants. The vice president’s family tree includes Charlemagne and three Holy Roman emperors.

And a good fight wouldn’t frighten the vice president’s most famous ancestor, England’s Edward I — best known today as the king who defeated, then executed Braveheart.

Edward was also said to be very popular with the ladies. His descendent, Al Gore certainly won the hearts of many American ladies with “that kiss” he publicly planted on wife Tipper.

Although Gore is running a bit behind Bush in the European royal count, his blood-line runs close to some American home-grown nobility, including Thomas Jefferson, Daniel Boone, and “Buffalo Bill” Cody.

Trump Card

Buckingham Palace politely declined to comment on the recorded royal connections of either candidate.

“This sort of thing happens every time there’s an American Presidential Election,” scoffed one palace official.

But if the Burke’s Peerage prediction has its doubters, the company doesn’t hesitate to defend its crowning legacy.

“You can’t just write off 200 years of accurate predictions,” says Brooks-Baker pointing out Mike Dukakis learned about the “royal factor” the hard way. The 1988 Democratic nominee and son of Greek immigrants had no connections to any European thrones, and he lost in a landslide.

October Surpise?

Although Bush maintains a clear royal advantage, Burke’s Peerage claims to know why the race is so close.

“Never in the history of the United States have two presidential candidates been as well endowed with royal alliances.”

However the royal researchers are hedging their bets saying their dig through the documents continues.

Brooks-Baker says Gore still has a chance to prove he’s “royal enough” for the top job.

“Like Jimmy Carter, it is possible that he is the product of several royal love children of the past,” Brooks-Baker says. “Those connections are harder to trace.”

Thus Burke’s Peerage leaves open the possibility for an October surprise — and either a Bush, or a Gore, coronation Nov. 7.

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