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The Note: Gang of 1

"That information was quickly relayed to the Vice President's hunting party, but not in time to stop them from embarking on their shoot. Secret Service attempted to apprehend Mr. Whittington for questioning in the field, but he ran and they were unable to apprehend him. It was in fact Mr. Cheney who, acting quickly in the face of a serious and immediate threat, took aim at Mr. Whittington and shot to stun him. The Vice President's quick thinking, flinty resolve, and sure shooting averted a major catastrophe. As additional intercepts of the kind Democrats want to do away with have shown, Mr. Whittington planned to attack and bring down the tallest building between the Rio Grande and the panhandle."

"At this hour, Mr. Whittington is being transferred from his hospital bed to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where he can be better treated under optimal conditions. The gratitude of the American people go out today to the Vice President."

"We will have no further comment on this matter."

"Thank you."

Whatever route is chosen, Vice President Cheney has no public schedule as of this writing. There is also no White House gaggle or press briefing on the schedule as of this writing, but we're betting someone from the press office will visit with reporters in the back of the plane on the President's way to the Buckeye State to promote an agenda in which the White House press corps currently has ZERO interest.

Before heading to Ohio, President Bush kicked off his early morning with a 7:00 am ET bicameral/bipartisan congressional leadership breakfast at the White House.

The President participates in a meeting on health savings accounts at Wendy's International headquarters in Dublin, OH at 11:35 am ET. (The always hungry press corps have been promised Frosties.) Still photos only at the top of the meeting. At noon ET, President Bush will make (open press) remarks on health care. ABC News' Karen Travers reports that the President will highlight two goals of his Administration: one, taking care of the elderly and poor through Medicare, Medicaid and community health centers and two, making sure health care is affordable for families.

President Bush will be back at the White House in time for his 3:00 pm ET Oval Office signing of H.R. 4636 -- "The Federal Deposit Insurance Reform Conforming Amendments Act of 2005."

For those keeping score at home, today's trip will be President Bush's 39th to the Buckeye State since taking office in January 2001, per the Ohio State Republican Party. And it is also interesting to Note that despite four visits to the state in the first five months of his second term, President Bush has not been to Ohio since June 9, 2005 -- a couple of months before Gov. Bob Taft (R-OH) pleaded no contest to violating state ethics laws. Keep an eye on the President's travel schedule this election year to this most important battleground state and you'll be able to determine how much the White House and Ohio Republicans believe the President's political health can help resuscitate the ailing Ohio Republican Party.

The House Select Committee on Hurricane Katrina will release its much publicized report after its 2:00 pm ET business meeting.

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