Try as we might, ABC News could not find God.
@God, that is.
Among a slew of Twitter religious figures -- from @Satan to @AllahAlmighty -- @God is one of the few accounts that lists an email address. And yet, both @God and @Jesus_M_Christ (we won't tell you what the 'M' stands for) refused repeated requests to contact us. Sometimes you have to wonder -- is @God even listening?
Unlike the figures these Tweeters represent, most religious-based Twitter accounts accumulate followers based on their ability to insult religion -- funny or not -- rather than celebrate it. @God, on the other hand, likes to toe the line.
"Joseph still hasn't forgiven me for referring to Mary as 'my baby momma' during Mother's Day," @God tweeted on May 12.
But whoever is behind @Jesus_M_Christ must be feeling the heat from the fires of hell by now.
This Sunday, He (or She?) tweeted, "My favorite verse? Nathaniel 2:13 'And Jesus said onto his disciples: If thou smoketh like I smoketh, then thou art high like every day.'"
"#youknowthesexgood when you sound like you're having a three-way with my Dad and I." @Jesus_M_Christ tweeted on July 21.
There were others, but we couldn't bring ourselves to publish them.
Twitter's rules about content apply mostly to pornography, copyright and threats, so these tweets don't violate any terms of service. In terms of the rules of good taste, however, they walk the line.
But rather than push away his followers, these 140-character blasphemies have earned the account no small amount of fame. @Jesus_M_Christ has almost 100 times more followers than the peaceful, tame @MathatmaGandhi. Of course, that might have something to do with the fact that Gandhi hasn't tweeted since 2009.
Still, @God, @AllahAlmighty and @SpiritOfMoses all have significantly fewer followers than @Jesus_M_Christ.
In a tweet that seems motivated by the recently passed debt deal, Christ put aside that whole "render unto Caesar" thing and got political yesterday.
"Sure I helped the poorest unconditionally, but that's okay America just keep screwing them over and pretending like it's what I would do," @Jesus_M_Christ tweeted.
Twitter's Sean Garret told ABC that plenty of Twitter accounts that take a serious approach do well.
"However, satire is one of the oldest and popular forms of literature and it continues on Twitter in inventive ways," Garret wrote in an email. " People who enjoy it have the opportunity to choose to follow satire accounts."
So what has drawn hundreds of thousands of Twitter users to this religious spoof? Perhaps it's the same quality that attracts followers to @Queen_UK (who's as regular as Big Ben when it comes to reminding us of "gin o'clock" each day): There's an element of fun in hearing raucous comments from those normally steeped in formality. Or watching a political figure in a parallel universe: @MayorEmanuel offered tales of a candidate running for Chicago mayor who gets trapped in the sewers below City Hall and kidnapped by then Mayor Richard Daley.
But does this humor detract from the importance of the figures themselves? Or is hearing @Satan's tweets just funny?
We'll leave that one for the Twitterverse to decide.
For more irreverent religious humor, check out this video of what the world would be like if Moses had had access to 21st century technology here.