What Parents Don't Know About Their Teen Daughters' Sex Lives

So many teen girls today seem forced to grow up very fast, especially when it comes to sex. The question is, how can parents talk to their teens about sex and help them negotiate the pitfalls they might face?

While about 90 percent of parents say they've spoken to their teens about sex, only half of their teens agree. Where is the disconnect?

ABC News' "Primetime" and Seventeen magazine hosted a slumber party for 14 girls between the ages of 13 and 17 to talk about what sex means in their lives. Their parents later joined the party to see what their daughters said, and some of those parents found out a few things they didn't know.

'Chicken Parties' and More

The girls talked candidly about their lives, but four hours into the sleepover, the talk turned to some topics that make many parents cringe -- girls kissing girls to please boys, "chicken parties" and unsafe sexual practices.

Tiffany said that at parties, boys will frequently ask girls to kiss each other.

"They get like a little drunk and then they're like, 'Oh my God, like I have to see two girls make out or I'm goin' to die,'" she said. "And girls will just be like, 'All right.' Like once they're drunk, they're like, 'Who the hell cares?'"

Atoosa Rubenstein, Seventeen's editor, asked the girls about unsafe sexual practices. "Who has performed oral sex without using a condom?"

Only two girls at the party admitted to doing it, but when asked if they had friends who performed oral sex without a condom, most of the girls said a resounding yes.

Rubenstein said girls seem to assume that the boys they know are "safe."

"What I hear over and over again is from girls who think a guy is cool and think it's totally fine, it's like my friend, of course he's fine," she said.

In fact, a Seventeen magazine study found that around 56 percent of boys who have sexually transmitted diseases do not tell the girl.

And finally, the discussion turned to a topic even the girls were uncomfortable discussing: sex parties, which go by several different names. They're sometimes called hooky, rainbow or chicken parties.

Only one girl in the group admitted to having been to what she called a chicken party.

"I've been to lots of them, actually," said Christina. "Me and my friends all go out and we meet at one place, and then we all just kind of ... haphazardly hook up, sort of just like kissing. We'll be half-naked, we'll watch porn and make fun of it, because there's almost nothing as unsexy as porn."

Sabrina Weill, a former Seventeen editor, says in her book, "The Real Truth About Teens and Sex," that one in 11 teens has witnessed people having sex in front of other people.

Weill says that two things are at play here. One is old-fashioned pack behavior: If those kids are doing it, it must be OK. And secondly, she says, alcohol plays a factor in these games and parties, making teens feel invincible and more vulnerable to suggestion.

Parents and Girls Reunite

After the candid conversations and a few hours of sleep, the girls were ready to reunite with their parents. "Primetime" taped the girls' discussion and edited it to show their parents.

Even in families that said they communicate well, both the girls and parents were nervous about what would be revealed. And even parents who are close to their kids sometimes don't realize the complexities of the decisions teens must make and the pressures they can face.

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