What Parents Don't Know About Their Teen Daughters' Sex Lives

May 18, 2006 — -- So many teen girls today seem forced to grow up very fast, especially when it comes to sex. The question is, how can parents talk to their teens about sex and help them negotiate the pitfalls they might face?

While about 90 percent of parents say they've spoken to their teens about sex, only half of their teens agree. Where is the disconnect?

ABC News' "Primetime" and Seventeen magazine hosted a slumber party for 14 girls between the ages of 13 and 17 to talk about what sex means in their lives. Their parents later joined the party to see what their daughters said, and some of those parents found out a few things they didn't know.

The girls talked candidly about their lives, but four hours into the sleepover, the talk turned to some topics that make many parents cringe -- girls kissing girls to please boys, "chicken parties" and unsafe sexual practices.

Tiffany said that at parties, boys will frequently ask girls to kiss each other.

"They get like a little drunk and then they're like, 'Oh my God, like I have to see two girls make out or I'm goin' to die,'" she said. "And girls will just be like, 'All right.' Like once they're drunk, they're like, 'Who the hell cares?'"

Atoosa Rubenstein, Seventeen's editor, asked the girls about unsafe sexual practices. "Who has performed oral sex without using a condom?"

Only two girls at the party admitted to doing it, but when asked if they had friends who performed oral sex without a condom, most of the girls said a resounding yes.

Rubenstein said girls seem to assume that the boys they know are "safe."

"What I hear over and over again is from girls who think a guy is cool and think it's totally fine, it's like my friend, of course he's fine," she said.

In fact, a Seventeen magazine study found that around 56 percent of boys who have sexually transmitted diseases do not tell the girl.

And finally, the discussion turned to a topic even the girls were uncomfortable discussing: sex parties, which go by several different names. They're sometimes called hooky, rainbow or chicken parties.