What to Do If You Become a Stalking Victim

March 31, 2005 -- -- Dr. Doreen Orion, author of "I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Account of Stalking and Obsessive Love," and the Web site antistalking.com offer the following tips for people who may have become the object of a stalker's attentions.

1. Tell the stalker "no" once and only once, and then never give him or her the satisfaction of a reaction again. The more you respond, the more you teach the stalker that his or her actions will elicit a response. This only serves to reinforce the stalking.

2. Get a dog. The Los Angeles Police Department's Threat Management Unit says this is "one of the least expensive but most effective alarm systems."

3. Block your address at your state's department of motor vehicles and voter registration offices. If you don't, anyone can learn where you live. This is how Robert Bardo found actress Rebecca Schaeffer and was able to kill her at her front door.

4. Never give out your home address or telephone number. Get a post office box and use it on all correspondence. For those places that will not accept a post office box, change "P.O. Box" to "Apt." and leave the number. Put this address on your checks.

5. When a stalker gets your home telephone number, don't change it. Instead, always let an answering machine pick up. Get a new, unlisted number, and give it to everyone who calls but the stalker. Eventually, only the stalker will be using your old number.

6. If it upsets you when the stalker calls, put the machine in a room you don't use. You can even have someone else monitor the tapes. This way, the stalker will think he or she is still getting through to you, although you will never make the mistake of picking up when the person calls. Whenever you close off one avenue for a stalker, he or she will find another and it could easily be worse.

7. Document everything. Even if you have decided not to go the legal route, you may change your mind. Keep answering machine tapes, letters, gifts, etc. Keep a log of drive-bys or any suspicious occurrences.

8. Take a self-defense class. A lot of security experts don't advise this, fearing that it gives victims a false sense of security, but Orion does. She says the best self-defense classes teach you how to become more aware of your surroundings and avoid confrontations, things that stalking victims would do well to learn.