An Expert Answers Your Questions About Bullying

Sept. 14, 2006 — -- Elizabeth Englander, a professor of psychology and director of the Massachusettes Aggression Reduction Center at Bridgewater State College, works with students and school districts across Massachusetts to implement anti-violence and anti-bullying programs.

We asked people to submit questions to our Web site for Englander about cyberbullying and related topics. Below are selected questions and her answers.

Question: I have a nephew who is going through the same thing that Ryan Halligan went through -- it could be his own story. We are at a loss as to what to do about it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. -- Susan Patton, Glenview, Ill.

Answer: I'm always saddened to hear that kids are suffering seriously because of bullying or cyberbullying, because there is so much we can all do to help reduce it. What I'm really wondering, though, is this: Is your nephew -- like Ryan -- very depressed and possibly suicidal?

If you think he is, or if you even suspect that he might be, it's extremely important that he gets medical help immediately. Serious depression is not something that "blows over" and professional help can make your nephew much safer. If your family doesn't know where to begin, start with your nephew's pediatrician or your family doctor. Both of these professionals routinely make referrals for depression -- it's an extremely common problem!

Now, how to address what your nephew is going through. First, there are guides for families and parents on our Web site -- www.bridgew.edu.marc --that you can download for free -- click on Downloads & Resources. These guides will help you understand what to focus on and what you can address.

Telling your nephew to abandon the electronic world is not likely to work, but helping him understand what's happening to him may make it less painful. Of course, to help him understand it, you need to understand it yourself, which is why we offer a guide for parents and families.

Concentrate some attention on your nephew. If crimes are being committed, report them to the police. If it affects school, involve the school officials. If it affects his mental health, get him counseling. Focus on him as a family, in a positive, supportive way. While all this can't cure true depression, it can help kids cope with a significant trauma like bullying or cyberbullying.