FUNNIES: Bush Takes It to the People -- 3.26.06

March 26, 2006 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

Jon Stewart: How was Iraq's first day of parliament? More than anything, it was short. Adjourning indefinitely after half an hour -- taking care of all Iraqi business in the time it takes to watch "Two and A Half Men."

Stephen Colbert: Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What's wrong with red, white and blue USA Today? This rainbow weather map is just another example of the homo-meteorological agenda.

Bill Maher: "Well, the president was everywhere this week, wasn't he? I tell you, he doesn't give a press conference in three years and now we can't get him to shut up. And of course, he was blaming the troubles in Iraq on the media, saying they are not reporting the good news. And maybe that's true. For example, today in Baghdad -- this is true -- it was widely reported that gunmen killed four workers in a bakery. But no one mentioned that their banana bread is delicious!

Stewart: To correct the world's misperception, the president is once again going above the filter, speaking directly to the American people. And they had a chance to speak directly to him.
Montage of audience members at City Club in Cleveland [on tape]: My name is Jose Feliciano … Every chief needs Indian on their side. … The Cleveland Hungarian community is planning a major event in October.
Stewart: That's how you take your shot when you get a question for the president? Some of the questions cut to the chase.
Audience member: Do you believe this: That the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism are signs of the apocalypse, and if not why not?
[Bush laughs and pauses]
Stewart: What are you waiting for? Say no! Just say no!