Travel Etiquette: To Talk or Not to Talk

March 24, 2010 -- Q: What do you think of people having personal conversations on cell phones on planes? There was a woman next to me who was saying stuff like, "Aww, I wub you more! No I wub YOU more! You're my snookums!" (or something to that effect) for about ten minutes while we were boarding, and I really wanted to tell her to shut up. Another time this guy was going on about his stomach troubles. This really has to stop.

A: Now, now, we don't tell people to shut up. Even super-annoying people, like Ms. Babytalk and Mr. Gastrointestinal Issues. But I agree, those are not subjects to be discussed where anyone can overhear you -- and in the close quarters of a plane, everyone can overhear you.

Unless it's a fairly quick and painless "Boarding now -- I'll call you when we land!" type call, make it from a private spot in the terminal rather than from your seat on the plane.

Q: Can we get some cruise buffet etiquette tips, please? I'll be going on my second cruise soon and I was shocked at how rude some people were in the buffet line the first time I went.

A: Sure. Hey, cruisers! Yes, there's a ridiculous amount of food. Yes, I'm sure you're hungry. And yes, it's easy to delude yourself into thinking that all that food is "free" (even though you have obviously paid for your cruise). But that doesn't give you license to behave like a starving pig set free in front of the biggest slop trough in the universe. You're still dining in public, and you need to act like it.

And speaking of tongs, use them. If basic manners aren't reason enough to do so, think norovirus.