Jaycee Dugard Interview: Flourishing After 18 Year Long Kidnapping

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"I feel like I spent my lifetime looking for her and dreaming about her and talking to you and you were always there. You never left me," Probyn told Dugard during the interview.

The two women, clinching hands and with their bodies turned toward one another, share a remarkable bond.

"Being a mom now, you know, I know that she never forgot about me because I could never forget about my kids. But…when you're a kid and you think you're easily forgettable and you're not important. But she kept…her hope. I don't know how she did that. You know? How did I keep my hope? How did she keep her hope," Dugard said.

Dugard still fights feelings of anger towards her captors, but tries not to dwell on them.

"I don't feel like I have this rage inside of me that's building," Dugard said. "I refuse to let him have that. He can't have me."

Dugard's mother can't forget what the Garridos stole from her daughter and her.

"I think I have enough hate in my heart for the both of us. I hate that he took her life away and that makes me sad…I hate that he stole her from me. He ripped out a piece of my heart and he stole my baby," Probyn said.

The two women look at one another. Probyn tells her, "I'm sorry, baby."

She goes on, "He stole your adolescence. He stole high school proms and had pictures and memories…"

Dugard smiles and tells her mom, "But he didn't get all of me."

The Manipulation

The Garridos mercilessly manipulated Dugard.

When she was first kidnapped, Phillip Garrido kept a stun gun present whenever he raped her, a way to remind her of his power.

After abusing Dugard, sometimes for hours in drug fueled sex binges called "runs," he would sob and apologize.

He'd tell her that he had a sex problem and she was saving him from hurting other little girls.

While Philip Garrido was her main tormentor, his wife Nancy was equally adept at playing with Dugard's emotions. She would bring Dugard things like a purple bear, a Barbie, chocolate milk, a Nintendo.

But she never stopped her husband from abusing Dugard.

She'd even keep Dugard locked in the compound when Phillip Garrido was away serving time for a parole violation.

"In some way, she's just as manipulative, because she would cry and say, 'I can't believe that he did this. I wish he would have got a headache that morning he took you,'" Dugard recalled.

"In some ways, she's…just as evil as Phillip," Dugard said.

The Garridos manipulated Dugard until the presence of a stun gun and the use of handcuffs were no longer needed to keep her from fleeing.

It was classic manipulation, Dugard's therapist, Dr. Rebecca Bailey, said.

Bailey is a family unification therapist.

Phillip Garrido's power over Dugard grew by being "responsible for everything from time to food to human companionship to your clothes to your identity," Bailey said.

When Dugard had her daughters, she didn't flee because Phillip Garrido had convinced her the world outside their compound was unsafe, ironically full of pedophiles and rapists.

Even now, it's still hard for Dugard to fully understand why she didn't leave.

"I've asked myself that question many times. I know there was no leaving. The mind manipulation plus the physical abuse I suffered in the beginning, there was no leaving…. I don't know what it would have took. Maybe if one of the girls were being hurt," Dugard said.

Coping With Captivity

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